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Teen Poetry #4
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Uncried Tears
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Uncried Tears |
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Poet on Acid Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 325Florida, USA |
"Uncried Tears" Uncried tears Uncried tears are things an angel sings Forgotten life A life full of pain drove you insane Unremembered soul Soul for of turmoil, angel's tears begin to boil No ones friend Friendless man dying alone without the slightest moan Uncried tears Only angels cried when this man died Ok ok I know, not some of my best work. But I was up for 3 days and was on a coffee rush and watching an "ER" marathon. Anyways I hope you like it. >¶Øʆ< |
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| © Copyright 2001 Tony Ryan Johnson - All Rights Reserved | |||
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
A man for whom nobody cares, and for whom nobody cries when he dies. I'm sure we all feel like this man at one time or another. Not a bad poem, don't be hard on yourself. I think that the thought behind it is a good one. Eternal life without the darkness isn't life at all- it is a lobotomy. |
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Angel in Flight Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 381 |
I agree with Allan you cant be so hard on yourself.And poet on acid i hear you i truly do. This is how it is going to be for me when die and it really made me look into the future. Keep writing loved the poem. |
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Poet on Acid Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 325Florida, USA |
thanx again for your objective but somehow always uplifting thoughts. And as for the thought behind it being a good one, I'm actually trying to work on form and style nd stuff like that now. I need to be more well rounded if I'm going to get into any classes fro creative writing. >¶Øʆ< |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Good poem poet......i liked it. I'm going to have to say that this is not one of your best pieces, but nonetheless a good read.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
very good title and theme.. form was original but the poem needs some little things to make it better try revising it.. ~JDR "Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." -Oscar Wilde |
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Melster Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 442Brisbane, Qld, Australia |
That was a good peice... as you say not one of your best peices, but it was great all the same... 3 days awake... I would be soo bored... The worst I have done is 2 days and then 2 hours sleep and I was sooooo bored... Melz!! You can't hurt me anymore than I have hurt myself already... |
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a_little_girl Member
since 2000-05-08
Posts 307San Alejandro, HI, USA |
Wow...this is really good. This is the unleashing of leashed emotions. I like it. **No weapon will pierce my heart, no hand will be raised to harm me as long as I write.** ~a_little_girl |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I'm going to have to be honest and say the flow just wasn't there for me. Now isn't that just harsh feedback for ya?  I think with a, gasp, revision, this could be a great poem It does express your thought clearly though, nice job on that."Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
i liked this alot...great thoughts behind it. and thats always good  great job on this PoD. tiff  “A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.” |
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stace_co2003 Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497In a dream world |
I liked this too, but I agree with Lake...the flow just wasn't there. but it was still good. Stace I'm just glad that now this rainstorm has ended, and I can see the rainbow once again. [This message has been edited by stace_co2003 (edited 05-30-2001).] |
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