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Teen Poetry #4
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behold the faceless man
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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behold the faceless man |
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jytree Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 336omaha ark usa |
I see a man with no face, I look away thinking what a discrase, He turns to me and senses my heart, The man approaching me with compassion in his heart, He grabbed my shoulder I jumped out of my skin, Thinking with my heart ever go into my chest again, I turn and looked aa this man, So he reaches down and grabs my hands, He saids to close you eyes and look into your heart, Imanage me a face of pure art, I am think paccio is out for this is what we have now, I think for a minute and I picture pops into my miind, I hear him start to cry, I open up and we are staring eyes to eye, He look with joy on his face and said because of you heart I can walk with out being a discares, he let go at walked away and standing there all I could say is"...." Lead me not into temptation, I can find the way there mysel |
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| © Copyright 2001 Michael Jay vaughn - All Rights Reserved | |||
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Nice job. I enjoyed it. Especially where you said "all i could say was '...'" This made me smile. Keep up the excellent work. And you might want to clean up the typoes. ~_^ -Allan We used to hate people, now we just make fun of them. It's more effective that way. --KMFDM |
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anomaly187 Member
since 2000-06-15
Posts 284San Francisco,CA,US |
hey i thought this was really good,, but as allen said clean up the typoes and spelling errors.. otherwise another great post from you.. great work! "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro" |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I thought the poem was ok. Not your best......and I also thought the word "heart" was over used......  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
outstanding poem i most defenitely like the idea besides some miss print, the whole poem was a treat thanks for sharing I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
Ya Eye tink yu knead to cleen it uhp ahbit... just kidding  Nice poem, it was quite interesting....Jeremy "I believe that man will not merely endure: he will prevail. -William Faulkner (Noble Prize Speech.) |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
lol @ Jeremy  Jytree all in all, a good effort. ~AF~ "Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment." Buddha |
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Angel in Flight Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 381 |
I loved this poem so much. It was very interesting and kept my attention throughout the whole thing. Great imagry you put into this. keep posting |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Yes, the thoughts are going in my head now (and isn't that a poet's purpose?). Nice job on this poem "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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jytree Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 336omaha ark usa |
it has been awhile lake tell ron I like the new site it is cool Lead me not into temptation, I can find the way there mysel |
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