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Teen Poetry #4
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The Wilds of Curiosity
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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The Wilds of Curiosity |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
 What thing could cause this mind to be So curious and defiant of self preservation? Those around me say that I ought to see The danger that I put myself into, a painful sensation. But nay! it is my Choice to mess with this insane And wierd thing of mine. This experiment built of pop bottle, Explosive contents, and sheer luck. Place the experiment and run, not wattle, Run! run! run!, don't sit and muck about! Hiding behind some Barrier for safety and Comfort, I observe. Boom Boom Boom! I've done it again. They said I couldn't do it, they said It was stupid, they said I was insane! But nevertheless today my curiosity I've fed! But yet another Day, I shall need to feed it Once more. Bang Bang Bang! |
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| © Copyright 2001 fractal007 - All Rights Reserved | |||
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Hah... WHOA at the army of green bouncies! and WHOA at the poem itself! Great poem, Fractal. As everyone might have guessed, i LOVE the Senryu format you used in the right hand column. Very well done! Format is great. Oh how sweet... how about you join Amanda and I for a Rengay sometime? That could be fun, you obviously would be quite capable of it. Get back to me on this! Great poem! -Allan We used to hate people, now we just make fun of them. It's more effective that way. --KMFDM |
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IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723 |
I love your unique style Fractal. Great job here. I'm a little lost by the "BOOM BOOM BOOM... BANG BANG BANG" though. When I read it abstractly I get this odd emotion conveyed to me, which is very cool and I think relevant to the theme of this poem, but when I read it logically the Boom's and the Bang’s seem odd. It'd be cool if you explained it a little. It could be that I'm totally missing something here (most likely am... hehe). ~Jason To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese |
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Angel in Flight Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 381 |
LOL @ the green bounces!!! I LOVED them almost as much as I loved the poem. Great poem by the way, and wonderful senryus if i may add. Keep up the work!! What comes with love are tears of pain. What comes with hate are brighter days~ Amanda |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I thought this was a fun poem to read. I didn't much prefer the style though, but that's just me. I liked the FORMATTING though, I thought it was a bit different and I liked it. Ummmmmmmm.......oh yea....one more thing... *shoots the green guys* haha.....ok....my job here is done. haha  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
interestin poem my friend just make sure that you don't use what you make in any way that you would end up hurting someone. you have a great way with words great style I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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the day i tried to live Junior Member
since 2001-02-03
Posts 27the seventh circle |
yay!! explosions... nothing like exploding glass to lighten up an otherwise dreary day... |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Thankyou all for the compliments and suggestions. Allan: That sounds like a good idea. I'd be happy to colaborate with you guys. IsGonna: The booms and bangs are just for added effect, like the cannons in the 1812 Overture. They are also a bit of a commical onomatopoeia. Don't worry, I don't think I have it in me to hurt someone on purpose. |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
Ok that was absolutely incredible. Stop saying you need help writing, that b.s. My favorite part was: "This experiment built of pop bottle, Explosive contents, and sheer luck." Thanks for the post... Jeremy "I believe that man will not merely endure: he will prevail. -William Faulkner (Noble Prize Speech.) |
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