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Teen Poetry #4
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knightlyshadows
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791
obscured vision

0 posted 2001-06-19 12:29 PM



aight, i just added the last part to it, im not as happy with it as i am the rest but o well...still might add more to it soooo there ya go.

glowing, glowing
cinders in the wind
a light in the dark
that leads you home
passed the everflowing
echoing depth
senseless nothing
that makes up this
place
in the silent void
with nothing but
cinders in the wind
glowing, glowing

blowing, blowing
cinders of the sky
a passing of time
that teases your mind
hidden in between
this depthlessness
of lost souls
creations hiding
place
in a realm of dark
with only these
cinders of the sky
blowing, blowing

flowing, flowing
cinders of the deep
a current in time
that leads to the heart
lost in the lite
depths of perception
created in harmony
in this perfect
place
a sanctuary of dark
with nothing but
cinders of the deep
flowing, flowing



“A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.”

"I want to be in another place..."

[This message has been edited by knightlyshadows (edited 06-19-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Tiffany Durham - All Rights Reserved
Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
1 posted 2001-06-19 02:38 AM


Nicely done. I liked this one....it's not yer usual but I like the change  

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
2 posted 2001-06-19 10:00 AM


Tiffy Girl.....the ending makes it I think   I liked this  
Fading Away
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
3 posted 2001-06-19 05:00 PM


Tiff... this poem is awesome!  It's different from what I've seen from you, but very, very good.  The flow was right on, and the way you began and ended each stanza was excellent.  Wowers, I'm impressed.  Nicely done.

--Marie

"Imagine a pageant...
In my head the flesh seems thicker,
Sandpaper tears corrode the filth,
And I need you now somehow." --Silverchair

stace_co2003
Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497
In a dream world
4 posted 2001-06-19 08:50 PM


this is really good girl!! I love reading your work!! keep it up so I can read more soon!!  

I don't have an attitude problem You have a perception problem.

Heaven won't have me and Hell's afraid I'll take over.

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