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Teen Poetry #4

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Here, on the outskirts of the major city...

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Master
Senior Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 1867
Boston, MA

0 posted 2001-06-18 06:18 PM

Here, on the outskirts of the major city,
The trees are slightly bending to the west,
And waking up, one finds the nitty-gritty, --
A girlfriend’s forehead resting on his chest.

Here, time goes by unheeded. Nightingales
Sing all day long and street-lamps never fade.
And when the sun arises, it unveils
Two star-crossed lovers kissing in the shade.

Here, there is no commotion, all is still,
And mild autumn winds, across the courtyards,
Chase golden leaves and raindrops quickly fill
The puddles with the juice from Eden’s orchards.

Here, we can hold each other by the hand,
And ramble by the pond with pink flamingoes.
Here, we can build gold castles out of sand
And whisper from the bottom of the inkwells.

[This message has been edited by Master (edited 06-18-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Andrey Kneller - All Rights Reserved

ethel lahootie
Member

since 2001-03-06

Posts 143
SC, USA

1 posted 2001-06-18 08:54 PM

this is really good

i really enjoyed it...the imagery was awesome
-ethel-

Dopey Dope

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Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

2 posted 2001-06-19 02:32 AM

This poem was so awesome. It amazed me. I really really loved this poem. Very impressive work here!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

SEA

Deputy Moderator 10 Tours

Deputy Moderator 5 Tours

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Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

3 posted 2001-06-19 10:45 AM

excellent writing

chasing rain
Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 737
Canada

4 posted 2001-06-19 12:42 PM

Love your imagery (as everyone else has said). I really enjoy your poems! Always look forward to reading them.

Keep it up!

¤ ¢H@§ïÑg RåIñ ¤

[This message has been edited by chasing rain (edited 06-19-2001).]

Fading Away

Deputy Moderator 1 Tour

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Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

5 posted 2001-06-19 05:02 PM

The imagery in this piece was awesome. I really enjoyed this one. Very nice work.

--Marie

"Imagine a pageant...
In my head the flesh seems thicker,
Sandpaper tears corrode the filth,
And I need you now somehow." --Silverchair

stace_co2003
Member

since 2001-03-30

Posts 497
In a dream world

6 posted 2001-06-19 08:52 PM

this is really good!! I like it!!

I don't have an attitude problem You have a perception problem.

Heaven won't have me and Hell's afraid I'll take over.

anonymous albert ?

Deputy Moderator 1 Tour

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

7 posted 2001-06-20 12:15 PM

wonderful pome...with nice imagery

...bye

im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

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