Teen Poetry #4 |
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the_rescue Member
since 2001-05-23
Posts 316Japan |
Ok this Goes along with dr. jo-bizz's last poem I can really relate with it I had a friend do the same thing hope you enjoy. I remember a time when you and I would chill talk about things stupid and find time to kill run through walmart's parking lot in the shopping cart at least until the day he took us apart Getting out of the elevator to find it, we broke playing bellboy in the mall just as a joke I remember getting kicked out of all those stores cause we played football and slid across the floors "We ain't got no place to go lets go to the punk rawk show" our theme song for life where it goes I don't know staying up till 7 am just to get up at 8 finding something stupid just to debate so where did you go, how long will you be away will I see you come around again some day? both prayed to the God of heaven and earth but in our disobedience rebellion did birth It caught you and strangled your very life you broke your families heart caused them strife what happened to "in God we trust" I guess for you it was left in the dust I see you know and you just walk away not even saying hi or looking my way I'm now your enemy cause I didn't follow suit cause I couldn't become one of his recruits so now in your self made darkness you lie now in your rebellion and unbelief you die I sit here and wait for you to come around but for now you remain bound I'm not asking U 2 luv me I'm just letting out the truth no hold barred about what I feel nothing wrong with what I say |
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© Copyright 2001 the_rescue - All Rights Reserved | |||
Linc
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552The Backstreet Boy |
Hey, The_Rescue, this power is very powerful I touched me. I almost cried, I really liked it. I am putting this one in my library. Keep up the superb work I am looking forward to it. Until your next poem -- Linc "Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment." |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Hey The_Rescue, I really enjoyed the read and thought this was very well written well done. Zu |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
well written and powerfula s well...i liekd this poem...great job...byeW:ave: im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
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Dr. Jo-Bizz Member
since 2001-06-06
Posts 97 |
awww man... that was great. the wal-mart thing and MxPx quote really got to me. my closest friends and I do those things. high five by C13 too. i think some word variation in one of the stanzas where you used "just" in two consecutive lines would be nice. i'm psychotic about word variation though... hehe. dr. jo But His word was in my heart |
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DarkAngelOfTheStars Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 255 |
this was great keep it up Dont knock on deaths door ...... ring the bell and run......he hates that |
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*ChrisLover* Junior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 46erie, colo |
that was great! i was really in to it. i havent bee on the forum for a while ... and iam just now getting to get back into it. i love poetry and i hope to see you write more! love janette Everything happens for a reason.. sometimes it's bad, but sometime it's good!! just remeber there's people out here who care! |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Very nicely done again. I enjoyed this poem a lot. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This is a pretty good poem. I enjoyed it quite a bit. Nice work. --Marie "Imagine a pageant... |
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punkrockerrobin
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
;lgajklgfdnhjaoiajroiaejrtoiajekoijpreitj[ipgjpoagj[oipea.......................ok went crazy for a minute. jimmy good poem. robin I AM WHAT I AM SO DEAL! |
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AngelPoet87 Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 280Indy |
Wow, fab writing. Extremely powerful stuff. I love it! |
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