Teen Poetry #4 |
Don't Ever Fail Again |
HiddenSparklez Member
since 2000-12-29
Posts 190British Columbia, Canada |
Penetration And you're brand new Some concentration And somehow I've gotten to you A little distraction And i'm right there A simple solution And suddenly I'm the only one who really cares An open door And you're no longer blind A whole lot more And a hidden smile is found from behind Salvation And I'm the only one who can help you Distraction And you're learning it's really only about you Sealed lips But you've got the talk Misguided feet You've got to stop the fake walk A misconception And you've gone mentally dumb A tasteful complication And all over again, you're completely numb A simple hand And you're holding mine so tight A few jokeful words And your dark eyes fill once again with light Grasping onto the cliches of life You're slowly letting me in Smiling goldenly and nice I'm hoping I can help you from within Don't ever fail me, And I won't let you fail again "You do what you do, you say what you say, you try to be everything to everyone... come on now, do that stupid dance for me" -Everclear |
||
© Copyright 2001 Sims - All Rights Reserved | |||
anomaly187 Member
since 2000-06-15
Posts 284San Francisco,CA,US |
hey this is a great poem...from the form to the reassurance you strongly present at the end..hope everything is well with whoever this is about...great work "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro" |
||
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I liked the poem and the ending especially. A bit of positivity. I liked it. Keep posting. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
||
Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
what a wonderful piece... such reassurance for someone you must have a beautiful heart thanks for the read I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
||
HiddenSparklez Member
since 2000-12-29
Posts 190British Columbia, Canada |
Thanks for ur guys' comments. I coach junior girls basketball at my school... and one of the girls i coach has a bad reputation of being a "trouble maker". Last week she gave me something really special... a picture of our mascot she had drawn. She tells me I'm the only person who motivates her to be good or better... so this is just a response to what she's given me. "You do what you do, you say what you say, you try to be everything to everyone... come on now, do that stupid dance for me" -Everclear |
||
katherine Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Canberra Australia |
this is really good! |
||
jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
sounds like a harmonic experience... glad to hear that everything is working out well... this poem really shows your sighs of relief ~JDR "I am two minded. I have two sides of thinking." |
||
⇧ top of page ⇧ | ||
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |