Teen Poetry #4 |
What Was But No Longer Is |
Dr. Jo-Bizz Member
since 2001-06-06
Posts 97 |
Defeat lurks in the shadows behind your eyes mocking my memories of what no longer is. Like maggots those lies infested your head whispering in your ear while consuming your purity. Horror Confusion Your hollow eyes I search for traces a glimpse of what was Benedict Arnold your own self Betrayal an un-marked grave for the innocence of the boy I once knew. But His word was in my heart |
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© Copyright 2001 Dr. Jo-Bizz - All Rights Reserved | |||
fearing-laughter Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605land of cheese (Wisconsin) |
hey, wow...this poem was really emotional. i don't even know what to say. from what i understood it was about someone who died?? maybe that's wrong, but that's what it seemed like to me. plz tell me what it's about, i'm pretty curious. thanks for the read. later -fear- [This message has been edited by fearing-laughter (edited 06-18-2001).] |
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Dr. Jo-Bizz Member
since 2001-06-06
Posts 97 |
i guess in a way he died.... not physically, of course. the person i knew in him is gone though. that's what i was trying to say. hmm... But His word was in my heart |
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fearing-laughter Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605land of cheese (Wisconsin) |
that sucks :-( thanks for clearing that up Jo. i really liked this one, and forgot to add it to my library. now i will. lol yay! keep postin, i luv ur stuff. later -fear- |
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the_rescue Member
since 2001-05-23
Posts 316Japan |
good job jo- as always it's really close to home with me lol, anyways i liked the poem or whatever it was as you would say and I'll tlak to you later iI'm not asking you to love me I'm just letting out the truth no hold barred about what I feel nothing wrong with what I say |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Well done, i really enjoyed the read and I hope to see more of your work soon Zu |
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scout Member
since 2001-06-16
Posts 175no place owns me |
I really loved the last stanza, the only thing that confused me, is why do you capitalize the first letter of some lines, and others your leave lowercase, it shows a certain inconsistency, i was just wondering if that was part of the poem, or you just never thought about it... anyways dr, i hope you had fun at the dentist! ----xscoutx---- |
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Linc
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552The Backstreet Boy |
Hey, First of all, I am loving that picture haha it's great as is this poem I really liked it a lot. Its very well done, powerful. I enjoyed it so much I am going to email it to a friend and put it in my library. Get it -- Linc "Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment." |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
emotional and i really liked how you wrote this ...great job!...enjoyed...bye im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I Really liked this one. I thought it had so much powerful emotion in it. Well done here. One of my favs from u. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This was a very good poem. The emotions are very powerful... I loved the ending. It almost gave me chills. Nice work. --Marie "Imagine a pageant... |
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LoneWolf Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 384IL |
wow, i liked this. it was powerful. good job. It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that. |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I like how this was written, good job on the poem. This is the first I've read of yours, I'll be looking for more "Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle" Plato. |
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