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knightlyshadows
Senior Member

since 2001-04-14

Posts 791
obscured vision

0 posted 2001-06-17 01:31 AM

ummmm yea ok this is just umm idk wut this is. just messing around and came up with it. its short and i dont like it but o well.

dont cross this road
by yourself
    you need the map
to lead the way
from this hell
           hell
in reality left behind
by yourself
    you cant see
the way is clear
open and free
          free
twisted shapes of sight
by youself
    you lost the will
to be just you
shifting reality
          reality

“A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.”

"I want to be in another place..."

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

1 posted 2001-06-17 03:15 AM

I thought it was ok, but it wasn't my fav. You've done better. Hope to see more soon.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Ina
Senior Member

since 2000-10-09

Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada

2 posted 2001-06-17 12:23 PM

gotta agree with Javier on this one.

Regina

If you only understood my pain then maybe you could learn to be my friend. Be there. My crying shoulder. The smiles. And the caring i need to survive.

Linc

Senior Member

since 2001-03-07

Posts 552
The Backstreet Boy

3 posted 2001-06-17 12:27 PM

Hey,

Get it Ganamede

haha I though it was good. Until your next poem

-- Linc

"Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment."

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

4 posted 2001-06-18 12:16 PM

This was a very good poem, Tiff, but not the best I've seen from you. I still enjoyed the read though. Thanks for sharing

Well done.

--Marie

"Imagine a pageant...
In my head the flesh seems thicker,
Sandpaper tears corrode the filth,
And I need you now somehow." --Silverchair

Dr. Jo-Bizz
Member

since 2001-06-06

Posts 97

5 posted 2001-06-18 12:20 PM

JO-BIZZ LIKED IT!! so there! good job tiff! liked the word association thingy i dont know how to say it. i still have hard times talking about poetry. i liked it though. how are you doing, btw?

dr. jo

But His word was in my heart
like a burning fire
Shut up in my bones;
I was weary of holding back,
And I could not.

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

6 posted 2001-06-18 09:28 AM

Umm I liked this one but once again it is not your best work... still a very enjoyable read though

Zu

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