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Teen Poetry #4
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Godsend_1
Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 247
great state of illinois

0 posted 2001-05-04 10:47 AM


sometimes i can feel the pain
of a hundred burning stars

sometimes i think i feel the love
of the greatest being on earth

sometimes i wonder why
i doubt the love i feel

sometimes i wonder where
i will see you in my dreams

sometimes i wonder how
i found you, the one i love

sometimes i wonder who
you will find to send me packing

sometimes i wonder what
i will ever do with out you

sometimes i wonder when
i will see you, my exquisite dream

and sometimes i dream of all your beautiful faces


[This message has been edited by Godsend_1 (edited 05-04-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Ben Redshaw - All Rights Reserved
Godsend_1
Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 247
great state of illinois
1 posted 2001-05-04 11:01 AM


i must be the dumbest person on earth sorry guys could someone please move this poem and my other one to teen poetry  the syrup must still be affecting my brain sorry guys

ben

i am what i am and that is all that i am and all that i shall ever be......so deal with it

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
2 posted 2001-05-05 01:42 AM


Only walt can close or move this....*waits for Walt*
LoveBug
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since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

3 posted 2001-05-05 11:26 AM


No worries, my friend. It shall be moved. Great writing, BTW.

"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli

Allan Riverwood
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since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
4 posted 2001-05-05 11:31 AM


Great poem, Ben!  The "who what when where why how" thing really was a nice idea.  Oh and the last line was marvelous.     Great work!
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

Fading Away
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since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
5 posted 2001-05-05 05:19 PM


Great job!  I really like this poem, and the couplets really work.  Nicely done.

--Marie

Don't ever be someone's slogan, because you are poetry.

lonely*soul
Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396
east haddam (moodus) ct :)
6 posted 2001-05-05 05:47 PM


dont move it!!! i liked it    good job
         *KiM*

never_a_princess
Member
since 2001-06-09
Posts 82
Show Me the Money
7 posted 2001-06-13 10:09 PM


*awwz* I reallys like this..especially "sometimes i wonder who you will find to send me packing"..it could've been written differently, but it wasn't..that phrase is..*perfect*..well, NOTHING is perfect('cept my Savior), but it came close :P i liked this one, bennerz..it's..sweet!
~Anna *waves*

xShUgArHiGhx
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Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
8 posted 2001-06-17 07:45 PM


i really liked this one...sometimes i wonder about this kinda stuff too..good poem!
Dr. Jo-Bizz
Member
since 2001-06-06
Posts 97

9 posted 2001-06-18 12:12 PM


good job ben!  i love your poetry.  it lets me see into your heart.  makes me sad, but i still enjoy it.  take care!!

jo

But His word was in my heart
like a burning fire
Shut up in my bones;
I was weary of holding back,
And I could not.

fearing-laughter
Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)
10 posted 2001-06-18 12:23 PM


awww this is really really sweet.  i wish someone i knew what write me a poem this pretty :-( *Cries* lol newayz, really awesome poem. i luved it! yaaaay! tis so pretty! later
-fear-

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