»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #4
»
seperation
| Teen Poetry #4 |
|
seperation |
|
|
the_rescue Member
since 2001-05-23
Posts 316Japan |
you Look at the apple,then you take a bite suddenly you sent into the pitchblackness of night Suddenly in the distance a light appears your imediately consumed by multiple fears He says, "why should I let you in you rejected my Son and continued to sin" you beg but He states, "it was your choice you negleted my word negleted my voice" He points to His left, and you cry please no I beleive in Him I don't want to go And as you walk away a tear fills His eye because your rejected Him, and He doesn't know why BLACKNESS SCREAMING Something is poking you on the sides another eating away on the insyde You fall and fall you can't see the ground You look around but only darkness is found Screams to the left gnashing of teeth to the right then a horrid face laughs in delight Your flesh hurts it's being eaten away Your bones and joints start to decay the further you fall the more empty you feel looking for a refuge for your wounds to heal the screams continue piercing my ears the pain is greater your consumed with fears tossing tumbling then you feel the heat starts out warms then burns even your feet third degree burns have nothing on this the flames pop and crakle and hiss you cry for mercy from this eternal damnation you regret your answer and your procrastination... in the silence of the night I hear angels voices singing your name oh how beautiful is your name as they sing over and over. (SPOKEN) |
||
| © Copyright 2001 the_rescue - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
This was awesome! This is a library piece. Very intersting description. Veyr powerful in imagery and impact. |
||
punkrockerrobin 
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
jimmy we need to talk ok hun. btw great poem robin |
||
|
Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
The images in thie piece ROCK! This is an amazing poem. Awesome work. I am very impressed. --Marie "You're the girl of my nightmares, erotic and skull-faced. |
||
|
anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
awesome job  ...wow thsi was a very powerful piece...i enjoyed this a lot...bye  im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
||
|
the_rescue Member
since 2001-05-23
Posts 316Japan |
thanx peeps apreciate the feed back Robin you know when you can get hold of me so just do it lol later I'm not asking you to love me I'm just letting out the truth no hold barred about what I feel nothing wrong with what I say I'm not telling you to hat |
||
|
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Well done here. You are really coming out with great poetry lately.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
||
|
Dr. Jo-Bizz Member
since 2001-06-06
Posts 97 |
wow... i'm totall blown away by this. very very powerful. it would make a good hardcore song. ska-core. something. especiallly like how you merged the words in all caps like that. "insyde"? was that an insyders refrence? just wondering  you know i think in song lyrics. dr. jo-bizz But His word was in my heart |
||
|
the_rescue Member
since 2001-05-23
Posts 316Japan |
hmmm ponders the songthing being a musician and all I think that it could but it would be more along the lines of a DOGWOOD song lol. but yeah I could totally deal with it being a song anyways I'll tlak to you laterI'm not asking U 2 luv me I'm just letting out the truth no hold barred about what I feel nothing wrong with what I say |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
