Teen Poetry #4 |
Elegy Written to the Already Dead |
fozzyozzy Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 336Lessburg Virginia |
Elegy Written to the Already Dead Churning up the collective for miles A man hidden unto himself Shielding his soul from unjustified smiles Feels his life sorted onto a shelf This man, grim style remembered A legend written for satisfaction Families torn and bodies dismembered Casualty of society? Congratulation Forced to stare into sorrow unphased This man care forgotten of his name Immaterial to which his sin is based Dead to us now, kill him now, this is his game "Only God can judge me," predetermined journey For this man already dead on delivery to us This man who looked upon a crimson colored gourney And laughed to his satisfied take on justice How many dead among us as we speak Of horrors and fears and demons We overlook the lost as we seek the horrors and fears and demons Here the body, soul found deeper His frightful deeds didn't scare the reaper May god bless, may God bless Us May He damn the rest... "This is cactus land!!!"-T.S.Eliot |
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© Copyright 2001 Sean Michael DeFlora - All Rights Reserved | |||
anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
quite the dark poem...i liked it but i didnt like teh fact you used tupacs verse in there...a poem is best to be original even though its quoted...well thats my opinion...bye im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? [This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 06-13-2001).] |
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fozzyozzy Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 336Lessburg Virginia |
Excuse me, but I didn't quote anyone that I know of not even Tupac. What line would that be anyway? "This is cactus land!!!"-T.S.Eliot |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
"May god bless, may God bless Us May He damn the rest..." This was my favorite part. I found the the poem was nice, but the beginning was weak....the middle was tame, and the ending roared really nicely. The ending rocked, but the fact that the beginning and middle didn't do much for me made the poem lose a bit of appeal. Regardless, and due to the ending, I liked the poem. Great message...hope to see more! I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
tupac-----> "Only God can judge me"!!! im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
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