Are Weeping Willows Really Weeping? (read)

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

PiXiEpUnKeR
Junior Member

since 2001-06-06

Posts 49
IL, USA

0 posted 2001-06-08 11:06 PM

Are weeping willow really weeping?
are their leaves truly tears?

Are mourning doves actually mourning?
do their cries give grief?

Are raccoons the original masked bandits?
are they trying to hide their eyes?

Are angel fish really angels?
do their halos prove purity?

And if the leaves and cries,
halos and eyes,
speak the truth?

Then why doesn't my weenier dog taste like meat?
wasn't I buying a hot dog?

And isn't a quarterback a refund?
shouldn't I expect money?

And why don't my plum tomatos satisfy my tastes?
wasn't I getting fruit and veggie salad in one?

If my weenier dog, refund,
fruits and veggies,
speak the truth?

:: Damn guys!! I'm stuck... PLEASE help me think of a stanza or two to finish this one off!! ::

stace_co2003
Member

since 2001-03-30

Posts 497
In a dream world

1 posted 2001-06-08 11:50 PM

um...well, this poem is definatly interesting. hm......I dunno how you could finish it though...some of it confused me, which I doubt had anything to do with the poem. I am a blonde at heart

good job.

I'm just glad that now this rainstorm has ended, and I can see the rainbow once again.

Dr. Jo-Bizz
Member

since 2001-06-06

Posts 97

2 posted 2001-06-09 12:28 PM

hahaha... reminds me of a bunch of related quotes i heard once, once of which was.. "why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?!" hehe. the american language is an interesting thing....

dr. jo-bizz

But His word was in my heart
like a burning fire
Shut up in my bones;
I was weary of holding back,
And I could not.

PiXiEpUnKeR
Junior Member

since 2001-06-06

Posts 49
IL, USA

3 posted 2001-06-09 12:31 PM

Yeah JoBizz thats the kind of idea I wanted to express... that damn ending though... it really has me stuck!

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

4 posted 2001-06-09 02:53 AM

I like this one. Unfortunately, finishing off pieces never come well to this person sitting here. So you're on your own in that respect.

Good luck on the final stanza and thanks for a great read.

~AF~

Just because I hear voices doesn't mean I'm crazy...SHUT UP IN THERE!!!

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

5 posted 2001-06-09 03:15 AM

very interetsing...i thought the turn of this poem was creative and i dont know...the ending by you will be far the best

...good luck...bye

i'm addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

6 posted 2001-06-09 07:20 PM

I didn't much like this one, not as good as your others. I hope you figure out how to finish it off though.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

7 posted 2001-06-12 10:54 AM

Why do you wanna eat your wiener dog?

Pixie, I think you need to figure out exactly what you want to tell us about this poem. I like the first half of it, I think it's really good, but I'm not a big fan of the second half. Keep thinking Pixie, you'll figure things out

hi Sweets, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Maree, Mic

Dana Samples
Member

since 2001-04-07

Posts 68

8 posted 2001-06-12 01:46 PM

i really like this first half. its cute:P it starts off sorta mellow until the hot dogs come in. its really creative.

but you do need to figure out what your trying to say first before we can really help. love- dana

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.