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Teen Poetry #4
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Mushy Lovey Dovey ...
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Mushy Lovey Dovey ... |
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Evylyn Junior Member
since 2001-06-04
Posts 20Florida, USA |
Eeek!! Where did this come from?? Okay, well...anyways, here. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ His eyes are deep as the ocean His hair as gold as the grain His lips as soft as rose pedals His voice as gentle as rain. We met one dreary night Our fates weren’t for certain In a land that’s now long lost One that the Gods had pulled the curtain. My mind was far too young And I suppose it now still is Sitting in this array of life Hoping this is not where it ends. Mommy, why does he look at me? Mommy, why does he cry? Mommy, why does he say these things To which I cannot reply? His ways confused me much Even scared me; I must say But the words I knew were true For he said them in that way. “Don’t you dare trust strangers!” But he was no stranger to me I knew him in my heart And held that sacred to me. I trust my life to him Him and no other man For with him I feel his touch Long after he has gone again. Friend, why do I look at him? Friend, why do I cry? Friend, why does my heart break Everytime we say goodbye? I didn’t know my limits And I guess neither did he So, we went alone together To a quiet reverie. What happened then was magickal The passion that filled the air That was the only time I said things without any care. I love him without question It’s simple, but it’s true And I’ll never tire of hearing from him Those words, “I love you.” "The only thing that boggles the mind is the mind itself." |
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| © Copyright 2001 Aurora Brightwater - All Rights Reserved | |||
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DarkAngelOfTheStars Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 255 |
aww so sweet i loved it  Dont knock on deaths door ...... ring the bell and run......he hates that |
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the_rescue Member
since 2001-05-23
Posts 316Japan |
sniff sniff, awww that was so sweet and it flowed really well and such good write. The Rescue in the silence of the night I hear angels voices singing your name oh how beautiful is your name as they sing over and over. (SPOKEN) |
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broken wing Junior Member
since 2001-04-30
Posts 37 |
i liked this very much. Now, dear children, pay attention I am the voice from the pillow I sing until the day awakes A bright light on the heavens [This message has been edited by broken wing (edited 06-08-2001).] |
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knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
oooOOOooo evy! i loved this!!!! im glad ur postin in here too  i thought this was great...heh at first i thought it was gonna be about Droghan and the pool partAy last nite. heh *innocent*  newayz...i liked it alot. twas very sweetish. it read almost like a song to me....but thats just me, plus im at music street with droghan lol so that could be it too....cant wait to read mores of ur work!!!! heh ooc partAy tonite...same time same place..all invited:P heh *hugs*tiff “A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.” |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
nice and sweet...great job...i enjoyed the read  ...bye Aurora  i'm addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I thought this was lovely. I liked it a lot. You didn't hold back in this and expressed yourself greatly.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
This was very good. The imagery and feeling were quiet powerful. Regina |
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quietlydying
since 2001-06-10
Posts 935the wonderful land of oz |
*cough cough* you honestly want critiques? umm, well. - jen |
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LoneWolf Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 384IL |
this was great. I loved it. It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that. |
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holatuwol Member
since 2001-04-27
Posts 72California, USA |
First off, since you already know how much I like it because of the minor early reference to oceans (water!) and the rain (rainfall!), and the word reverie (I love that word!), I figure that maybe I should start out saying that I really liked this poem, and that wherever it did come from, give me a map with that spot marked and I'll be attacking that place and borrowing the muses that live there. ^_^ Just for a day... promise. Overall, the poem was really nice... I thought that eventhough it had no meter, it read amazingly well. ^_^ Gorgeous, to say the least... my major problem was that the ending didn't fit. x_X I didn't like the last stanza in the least... it just didn't seem to be as wistful or as carefree or as curious as the entire poem that preceded it. Overall, since you don't know where it came from, the ending's probably going to wind up being the weakest anyway. ^^; It wasn't that bad of an ending... but it just didn't seem to fit what you had before. ^_^ But, it didn't ruin the poem... I still love it to pieces, and especially for the three things noted above. ^_^ Keep on writing Evylyn, and whatever you do wind up writing, make sure that we get to see a copy, eh? ^_^ No destroying works before we get to see it! ^_^v Take cares, and until your next poem... bye! - holatuwol |
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stace_co2003 Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497In a dream world |
I really like this poem. and yes I know I really want to!! but I loved the flow, and I loved the oem itself. and I liked the ending too  I'm just glad that now this rainstorm has ended, and I can see the rainbow once again. |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Beautoful imagery!!! Such a sweet poem...Nice job here..keep em comin! |
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