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Teen Poetry #4

Keeper of my soul

Spine Grinder
Senior Member

since 2000-10-28

Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

0 posted 2001-06-07 08:50 AM

not my best but it came to me and i had to write it down.

I haven't felt this way in so long.
And I know this just can't be wrong.
He's so nice and sweet.
I love such a treat.
His smile, his laugh, his eyes.
He's the cutest of all the guys.
I'd like to think he'd love me.
Of my heart, he owns the key.
He's the keeper of my soul.
He makes me feel whole.......

fall hard, practice harder not to fall

[This message has been edited by Spine Grinder (edited 06-07-2001).]

keoni
Senior Member

since 2000-10-16

Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC

1 posted 2001-06-07 10:30 AM

Nice job. It's not bad, but I think you could make it alot better. I think there's definately room to add on. Even if you leave it like this it is still a nice poem.
Jon

"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine
"Only God can judge me" Tupac Shakur

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

2 posted 2001-06-07 11:54 AM

Ok very good although not the best I've read by you and I think there is room to expand here... anyway good read...
Zu

DarkAngelOfTheStars
Member

since 2001-04-21

Posts 255

3 posted 2001-06-07 12:42 PM

aww cute

Dont knock on deaths door ...... ring the bell and run......he hates that

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

4 posted 2001-06-07 04:04 PM

i liked it...it had very nice touch to it

...great job...bye

i'm addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

5 posted 2001-06-09 07:00 PM

I liked it, but not as good as some of your other poems. I guess this is about the 1 guy out of the two that you chose. So I hope all things run well with him.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

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