Holy Sonnet #1 - pipTalk Forums

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fractal007
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 1958

0 posted 2001-06-06 12:21 PM

Hey all. Sorry if this sounds a little TOO religious. I just thought I'd try my hand at a holy sonnet describing my spiritual life. Kinda like how Donne used to like writing these all the time.

When stumbling in the thorny fields of doubt
And tripping on the sharpen'd rocks of fear,
I look upon my God to lead me out
And into pastures green, where joy is near.
When I am bored I look upon my Lord
And his creation. Science, to entertain
My mind, is our great quest to find the words
Describing our great universe of joy and pain.
When I am committing evil acts of sin,
Defiling the name and works of God, my God,
I know his son, the loving Christ, will win
This battle in my mind, and bring me to God.
In all of this I've doubted the God of me,
Forgotten how this Great God set me free.

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

keoni
Senior Member

since 2000-10-16

Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC

1 posted 2001-06-06 04:17 PM

This is very impressive, and nothings ever too religious for me. I liked it, except one line got to me:
"When I am bored I look upon my Lord
And his creation."

When I am bored, it kinda sounds to me like you look to him only when there's nothing else to do. I'm sure I'm just taking it wrong, but you might want to reword that line. Otherwise it was extremely good.
Jon

"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine
"Only God can judge me" Tupac Shakur

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

2 posted 2001-06-06 04:45 PM

Frac this was simply beautiful! I loved this one immensely! Great job on it! I really liked the theme of it all. It's not a crime to write about God

I liked it!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

3 posted 2001-06-06 05:00 PM

i really liekd this piece...beautiful job here

...this so called spritual walk is a rought path...as i am struggling to be free...as in this poem it seems you already have found the light...im glad that you have even though you yourself might be struggling with faith...i enjoyed this greatly...bye kevin

i'm addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

[This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 06-06-2001).]

the_rescue
Member

since 2001-05-23

Posts 316
Japan

4 posted 2001-06-06 05:19 PM

right on man nice write hope to see some more I just liked the thing period.

peace The rescue

in the silence of the night I hear angels voices singing your name oh how beautiful is your name as they sing over and over. (SPOKEN)

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