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Teen Poetry #4
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If the walls could talk.
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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If the walls could talk. |
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Marshalzu  
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking 
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--- Ok i'd like to thank Cherish for the idea for this one and all the help she has given me while I was writting this and for all the great and helpful suggestions that she gave me... hurrah for Cherish...     and finally *big hugs* If the walls could talk. Tommorow the walls moved away, Don’t know where, she didn’t say, Left the roof just floating there, Just took off and didn’t care, Yesterday the walls spoke out, In whispers didn’t need to shout, Told me of her life story, All the details gruesome and gory, The wall have kept their silence, After witness to the violence, Dragging it’s ball and chain, See her choking on the pain The walls spoke out to me, I helped to set her free, Her contract void and null, Her lonely heart was full, Yesterday the walls moved out, So we have to live without, We are living in the open air, Sorry, that we didn’t seem to care Zu Has anyone seen my cabbage? |
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| © Copyright 2001 Andrew Sewell - All Rights Reserved | |||
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
wow...this rocks!! Great writing  |
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ethel lahootie Member
since 2001-03-06
Posts 143SC, USA |
this was cool...i liked how u showed how the walls felt...it was interesting. good job ~eThEl~ |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
very nicely written... and isnt cherish's "lightblub" interesting to turn on  ...hahah...not really?..but anyways...i really liekd this...great job ..bye MR.Zu i'm addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? [This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 06-05-2001).] |
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Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
Wow. I loved this! nice job! fall hard, practice harder not to fall |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Well done here Andrew....cherish IS great isn't she? I liked this one.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
Andrew Andrew Andrew!!...you're too sweet..  i love the poem you know that.. ..i love the revisions....you have done a more then awesome job on this and im elated that you actually thought that my advice was worth taking..  beautiful words from a beautiful poet...  ...keep writing my friend we need your poetry..
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the_rescue Member
since 2001-05-23
Posts 316Japan |
ok great poem I liked it a lot but watch out for falling roof's ok. |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Thanx for all the replies... and it was great working with you cherish |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
awwwwww...that pleasures all mine.. |
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Words_of_Glitter Member
since 2000-10-25
Posts 90USA |
Good poem! A very original idea. I think if you re-wrote this a few times and maybe used more "thinking words" it could be something creative and great! NICELY DONE! |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Why thankyou for the reply words of glitter. "Death solves all problems, no man, no problem" J.V.Stalin 1918. |
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stace_co2003 Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497In a dream world |
"if walls could talk, oh, they would say I want you more, they would say, hey, I never felt like this before..." oops, sorry, the title just reminded me of that Celeine Dion song...lol. but like I've said before when you sent it to my email, it's a beautiful poem Zu..loved it just as much as I did before. good job I'm just glad that now this rainstorm has ended, and I can see the rainbow once again. |
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