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pharon
Member

since 1999-11-13

Posts 251
alabama

0 posted 2001-06-04 11:48 PM

           moonbeams reflecting
            off violent waters
                 crashing
                       thrashing
           smashing
          against the rocks below

you step back
                              this idea has lost its

                  ROMANCE

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

1 posted 2001-06-05 06:57 AM

Beautiful!!!! I loved the imagery

excellent job!

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

2 posted 2001-06-05 01:38 PM

Ohhhh.....you did this wonderfully!!

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

3 posted 2001-06-05 04:14 PM

the fromat worked well..the part of thrashing hiting...you really gave me the feel with the words...i really liekd this...beautiful job

...bye

i'm addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

[This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 06-05-2001).]

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

4 posted 2001-06-05 09:59 PM

Amazing.....Wowness. WOW! I hate you for how well you write haha. I wish I could do this.
Your poems amaze me. I love them and this just took the cake. Awesome job!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

pharon
Member

since 1999-11-13

Posts 251
alabama

5 posted 2001-06-05 10:34 PM

thanx for the encouragement you guys! i'm not so sure if the spacing on this one is ok...on the lines "you step back" and "this idea has lost its"...what do ya'll think?

me

fozzyozzy
Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia

6 posted 2001-06-06 09:59 PM

I'm gonna be an SOB and say I didn't like the complete capitalization of romance. Kinda lost its subtlety there. But other than that, another awesome poet from a regular in my library.

"This is cactus land!!!"-T.S.Eliot

pharon
Member

since 1999-11-13

Posts 251
alabama

7 posted 2001-06-07 12:03 PM

thanx for the input fozzy -- i actually was thinking the same thing but i wasn't sure if maybe it would stand out more in CAP'S...oh well, i guess i'll try it w/o.

me

DarkAngelOfTheStars
Member

since 2001-04-21

Posts 255

8 posted 2001-06-07 10:17 PM

nice job i loved it!

Dont knock on deaths door ...... ring the bell and run......he hates that

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