Teen Poetry #4 |
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the day the children died |
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the_rescue Member
since 2001-05-23
Posts 316Japan |
The cartoons are off the air, and they have canceled the state fair The swings are empty and the parks are closed the plot of everything is finally exposed the day the children died. Where have the children gone, they died yesteryear it came true the very thing that i did fear, as time continued on they were forced to grow old and now there lies their spirit collecting mold the day the children died. Every one saw it coming but no one took a stand and now we all deserve somekind of reprimand no more food fights in the cafeteria now it's just mad hysteria, the day the children died. No more birthday parties with loads of cake that was forced to stop too much was at stake. No more toys and no more toys R us it was too much of a hassle and a fus the day the children died. The children died not in body but in spirit they cried all were to busy to hear it Modern society killed the childs imagination and replaced it with division and multiplication the day the children died. Instead of the long awaited summer vacation they're reading about the emancipation proclamation they grew up to fast to quick to have any fun before they know it their childhoods done the day the children died. 1,2,3 Oh say can you see by the dawns early light your pushing the kids into adulthood it's not right They need to grow to have fun and enjoy their youth but could you allow that or is it against your couth the day the children died. they don't want to grow up their all toys r us kids |
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Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
this is amazing!!! and exactly why I'm not pushing my kids to grow up....my oldest is turning twelve in a few days......while I am allowing her some new feedoms...I will not allow her too much.....I hear myself saying no, watch cartoons.....no go play.....I can't stand the idea of them not having a childhood of playing and remembering that when they are my age....(30) ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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punkrockerrobin![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
toys r us for life yeah! robin I AM WHAT I AM SO DEAL! |
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Dopey Dope![]()
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Yea...go Toys R Us! But I'm sure that's not yer message haha. Well done.....a childhood must be retained as long as possible. Well that's my opinion cuz I'm in no rush to grow up. ![]() I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Shygirl82 Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 245Ilinois |
I really liked this one alot. I work with children as part of working towards my major and it truly saddens me to see some of these kids who go straight from toddlerhood to adulthood. Some of them are forced to being so much older than what they are really are. So in my opinion this poem totally rocked. Always, ~Nikki~ |
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ethel lahootie Member
since 2001-03-06
Posts 143SC, USA |
i agree completely w/this. kids do needa have more fun!! good job w/the writing i liked it! ~eThEl~ |
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Deranger Member
since 2000-05-10
Posts 498Somewhere, between here and there |
"Modern society killed the childs imagination and replaced it with division and multiplication" I love this part. Genius. I was really hoping for something really mobid and dark...but this had a lot of good point...meaningful poetry...gotta love it! Spreading insanity, one post at a time |
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StarPryncess17 Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932Colorado |
BEAUTIFUL!!!! "The swings are empty and the parks are closed the plot of everything is finally exposed the day the children died." I was and still am in awe of this piece. It was brilliant! Thanks for the thought provoking read! ~*~Jesilyn~*~ "Tell me why you cry" |
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LoneWolf Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 384IL |
wow this was great. i really liked this. good job It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that. |
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Meggie1986 Junior Member
since 2001-05-22
Posts 41California |
Wow, this is really really great. I keep wondering what happened to my childhood (I still want to be a kid!!!) and I suppose that's where it went. I like my toys ![]() *One meets his destiny often in the road he takes to avoid it. |
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kaile![]() ![]()
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
great sentiments here..i too sometimes lament the unfortunate fact that kids these days are forced to mature early because their parents deprive them of any fun and laughter... ![]() |
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xShUgArHiGhx![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
This was such a sad poem!!! I read it a couple of times i enjoyed it so much! Excellent read! ![]() |
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the_rescue Member
since 2001-05-23
Posts 316Japan |
wow i didn't think it was all that but apparently it's good thanx for the feed back |
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Dana Samples Member
since 2001-04-07
Posts 68 |
"1,2,3 Oh say can you see by the dawns early light" I love how you put that into the poem. It was clever. I ReAlLy love this poem a lot!! ![]() ![]() lots of love, Dana |
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anonymous albert ?![]()
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
awesome job here ![]() ![]() ![]() i'm addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
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obscurity of cloud Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294....:::::******:::::.... |
*bump* this is incredible! "so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost |
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