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Teen Poetry #4
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fozzyozzy
Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia

0 posted 2001-06-03 10:25 PM


Up into This, a Starry Night

First, a twinkling apparatus
To set the scene perfect for us
Fall into the stars you can trust
Here on earth I can see nothing except rust
Meander among twilight and come upon the dawn

Mind and skin supple like a fawn
Ready for knowledge to be withdrawn
Round and round our circle your song
You scare easily, what are the stars so wrong
Never save the truth never to tell me of the stars

You say sparkling omniscence can be found here
When I wonder where you are among the stars
Just a comet a shooting star to be gone
a blink
Just gone
Guess it was too real for you
Too deep too true
For the likes of you

Stare into open oceans of floating stars
(floating endlessly don't they sean)
If they were a sea, we woulda drowned amongst stars
(What if they were gone)
We would go blind searching for the stars
(This feels so wrong)
Breath the stars
---------------------------
This aing(is not) the best I've done. oh well. Slam it if you must

"The heart can think of no devotion
Greater than being shore to ocean
Holding the curve of one position
Counting an endless repetition"
Robert Fr

© Copyright 2001 Sean Michael DeFlora - All Rights Reserved
xShUgArHiGhx
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
1 posted 2001-06-03 10:29 PM


Wow this was beautifully written...very nice   Keep the poems comin!
Meggie1986
Junior Member
since 2001-05-22
Posts 41
California
2 posted 2001-06-03 10:30 PM


No matter what you say, I think this one is really great.  I love the break that the third stanza makes, it seems a little different than the rest; fitting for what it is saying.  I love the last stanza.  It really seems to sum up the poem.  Beautiful work!

*One meets his destiny often in the road he takes to avoid it.

Dopey Dope
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Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
3 posted 2001-06-04 12:14 PM


Well done here. I enjoyed this a lot. I love your style a lot.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

SEA
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Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
4 posted 2001-06-04 01:14 PM


yes, very well done!!
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