Love (for lack of a better title L)

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~sugarpie313~
Member

since 2000-09-14

Posts 375
Maine, USA

0 posted 2001-06-01 05:26 PM

I wrote this for my American Studies class... thought it would be something different to post.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The young man longed to profess his undying love,
While the lady only spoke of her hesitance.

The apples falling all around them
Like raindrops from the sky.

The young man longed to profess his undying love,
While the lady only spoke of her hesitance.

He softly touched her angelic face,
As if she might break.

The young man longed to profess his undying love,
While the lady only spoke of her hesitance.

She uttered melodiously,
Like the whispers of angels,
So no one else could hear.

Once the young man professed his undying love,
The young lady no longer spoke of her hesitance.

Why do you do what u do to me baby...you know if I could I'd do anything for you, please don't ignore me cause you know I adore you

[This message has been edited by ~sugarpie313~ (edited 06-01-2001).]

n e where
Junior Member

since 2001-05-30

Posts 32
Australia

1 posted 2001-06-01 06:33 PM

I love the repetition of the first two lines in this poem
it added character to it

~I'd rather see the world from another angle~ Jewel.

obscurity of cloud
Member

since 2001-05-11

Posts 294
....:::::******:::::....

2 posted 2001-06-01 10:37 PM

This was really interesting...the style is very different, but i like it!

"so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost

Jenn Cirrincione

Member Elite

since 2000-07-02

Posts 2107
Fl

3 posted 2001-06-01 11:23 PM

I realllly liked this one!!!! Lots and lots!!
It's pretty!!

Jenn

"If it's wrong to love you, then my heart just won't let me be right, cause I'm drowned in you, and I won't pull through without you by my side." Mari

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

4 posted 2001-06-02 12:09 PM

i enjoyed this lots...great job on writing something different

and youw rote it well...bye

i'm addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

5 posted 2001-06-02 03:05 PM

I didn't much like this one. The repetition wasn't to my liking, I thought more could have been added to this poem before the final conclusion of her giving into the man's love and feeling it back.
Anyhow, I read it and it's not the worst, but still I feel there should be more added to it.
MUA MUA!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

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