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Teen Poetry #4
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Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada

0 posted 2001-05-31 04:45 PM


If any of you know the Deftones this poem was insipired by their latest cd, "white pony" and the song "knife".  The title of the poem is the chorus of the song, "go get your knife".......


"Go Get Your Knife"

Why don't you go get
your knife, cut through
my shell
Try to look  deeper into
my soul
Stop judging the exterior
of my hard nutshell
break me
I can't find the words
to tell you all of my pain
cut me
Pull out this scared little
child from my darkness
hurt me
Is what you're doing
don't make it hurt worse
yell at me
"Go get your knife"
pry open my heart
show me
The way to be happy
help me
Patch this hole in my
heart, stop the bleeding
watch me
disappear into the
woodwork
Stop me for staying closed
and withering away
leave me
alone, don't care
show me you care
by letting me go....

Regina

"Take a look at my face, there's no price I won't pay
To say these words to you"bon jovi

© Copyright 2001 Regina Levy - All Rights Reserved
LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

1 posted 2001-05-31 04:55 PM


You give us some very powerful emotions in this piece. The form you used really helps bring out these feelings. Very well-written. I hope you're doing ok! Thanks for sharing.

"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

2 posted 2001-05-31 05:05 PM


powerful and intense emotions was written here...i really liked the whole poem  ...very nice job!...bye

i'm addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

[This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 05-31-2001).]

keoni
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC
3 posted 2001-05-31 05:45 PM


Very cool. That's definately Deftones influenced, sounds awesome. Now you have that song stuck in my head. I better listen to it when I get home.
Jon

"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine
"Only God can judge me" Tupac Shakur

n e where
Junior Member
since 2001-05-30
Posts 32
Australia
4 posted 2001-05-31 05:53 PM


i love the imagery used in this poem
a good piece of work indeedy

~I'd rather see the world from another angle~ Jewel.

lonely*soul
Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396
east haddam (moodus) ct :)
5 posted 2001-05-31 06:39 PM


wow, thats pretty intense..but i like it alot...(i love that song!) and this poem
                *KiMMiE*

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
6 posted 2001-05-31 09:10 PM


This is very emotional Ina. ~*hugs always*~
We'll talk later  

I'm so sorry for doubting you Kit ... please forgive me!!!!

cherish
Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........
7 posted 2001-05-31 09:13 PM


wow...i like this one a lot....wonderful and powerful imagery ina..you did a pretty darn good job on this..too many adjectives i know.. ...thanks very much for the read....




"Life is not long and boring,
it's short and compelling." -Javier Agosto-

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
8 posted 2001-05-31 10:44 PM


yes, wow! Fantastic!!   I love when music inspires  
Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden
9 posted 2001-06-01 08:32 AM


Alright, Ina, that was awesome.  There's not much to say, it was just plain awesome.

I know you're in a better place and though I cannot see your face, I know you're smiling down on me, saying everything's okay. ~R Kelly (I wish)

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
10 posted 2001-06-02 03:50 AM


Regi....wow.....amazing. I really really loved this piece of work. I thought you did amazing here. I can't say that I wasn't a bit edgy about the title, and notice how all the mods replied haha....i betcha so were they!...but yea I really enjoyed this one. One of my favs by you. Wow.....very nicely done.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

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