»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #4
»
Inside You
| Teen Poetry #4 |
|
Inside You |
|
|
n e where Junior Member
since 2001-05-30
Posts 32Australia |
In the woods we walk, silent and untouched only wanting to be free No creature nor man may harm us You are with me In the darkness of the trees and quietess of the forest I come to you Willingly and wanting Everything you have to offer The river flows, gently and freely Like you touched me just then so deeply When I surrender to you I am helpless at your gaze Take me away from life's anger and rage To a place where only beauty exists where we can love in peace without the hate we recieve our love is not different my dear just so unique ill show you what love is in this secret hiding retreat And when we must return to the dangers of this life I must not forget your secret garden and the beauty that lies inside ~I'd rather see the world from another angle~ Jewel. |
||
| © Copyright 2001 n e where - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
holatuwol Member
since 2001-04-27
Posts 72California, USA |
Strange how a poem so filled with cliché ideas can have such amazing appeal. ^^ Every image that was composed is definitely one that I've seen before, and yet, the poem itself had some kind of strange uniqueness that I can't quite pinpoint, but I definitely know is there somewhere... ^^; Talk about screwy ideas and whatnot... Anyways, I thought the cliché parts of the poem were well-brought together. ^^ The echo seems very different, and yet very familiar... which is an interesting paradox in of itself. ^_^ I'm a lover of paradoxes. The only weakness is that the poem does not seem to flow all that well... I don't know why, but it just didn't seem to flow. ^^ Beautiful echo, though... Anyways, I liked the poem. ^_^ This is... the first I've read of yours, and given how much I frequent this place, that's probably saying a lot. ^_^ I hope you stay awhile and post more of your work... love to read it. Until then! - holatuwol |
||
|
stace_co2003 Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497In a dream world |
I like this poem. but, I'm just gonna say ditto to what __^ he said  hope to hear more from you soon STace I'm just glad that now this rainstorm has ended, and I can see the rainbow once again. |
||
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Well done here. Very well done. I liked how the ending sounded. Good completion of the whole poem.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
||
LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
"When I surrender to you I am helpless at your gaze Take me away from life's anger and rage To a place where only beauty exists where we can love in peace" Beautiful description of love here, my friend. I love the imagery you put into this. Very well done. Thanks for sharing.  "Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli |
||
|
Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
This was awesome work!!!!! Regina "Take a look at my face, there's no price I won't pay |
||
|
cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
I must not forget your secret garden and the beauty that lies inside.. wow....i love this..youre going to start hating it when i say that about your pieces..haha..you write beautifullly and this is really really nicely done!....agpfagp!!...thank you for the great read!
|
||
|
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Oh yes indeed... this really had great description, you painted the image very well. I agree with Hola, good use of cliche.  ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
