Teen Poetry #4 |
![]() ![]() |
untitled-->any suggestions? |
![]() ![]() ![]() |
stace_co2003 Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497In a dream world ![]() |
Look in my eyes, you can see my soul A vision of love My eyes cannot lie. You see love You see a struggle Yet a calm within that comes from above I am quite scared I've never let anyone in This is my world now.. are you prepared? You see a waterfall.. those are the tears I cry inside. You've caused it all. All the pain- All the anger- All the love- All the gain- You've caused it all... you know how I am You know I can't help it. I'm destined to fall. Take my hand, And hold on tight. I need your love, and for you to understand Without you I'll fall And surely die. I need you so much... that's why it's you I call. You stand me back up on my own two feet. Caressing my face as you gently hold me up. Then comes the kiss, I'll never regret. when all is said and done.. it's what I'll miss. I've never wanted anyone before Then you look in my eyes. and I'm left feeling haunted. We laugh and love there in the rain... you use me and lose me... fly out like a dove. Falling in the street naked and wet regreting the love... but you never miss a beat. You lick your lips and look my way what is it you are tryingto say? you gently put your hands on my hips. I pull back suddenly infuriated. I know how you are and I know your name. And I dear sir, will NOT be played. I'm just glad that now this rainstorm has ended, and I can see the rainbow once again. |
||
© Copyright 2001 Stacy Caudill - All Rights Reserved | |||
the_rescue Member
since 2001-05-23
Posts 316Japan |
I like the poem I think you should call it the rescue no just kidding title for it how about simply, YOU, other than that I wouldn't know what to tell you Ah if you need anyone to get you outta the rain I am here lol The Rescue |
||
knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
you tell him hun! woo hoo! i liked this alot. the overall flow was good i thought. to me this read almost like a song. i liked the ending and all that..but i also liked how you described it all. as for a title....i have no clue cuz i have the same prob with them..newayz great job stace! tiff ![]() “A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.” Just leave me alone and give me some space. [This message has been edited by knightlyshadows (edited 05-30-2001).] |
||
LoneWolf Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 384IL |
Hey, good job on the poem. i liked it a lot. and as for a title i don't know. if i wasn't so tired i would probably be able to think of one for ya, oh well maybe later. anyways great job on the poem. It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that. |
||
Dopey Dope![]()
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Well done here. I Liked this one! ![]() I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
||
Marshalzu![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Great job on this one Stace, Well done I really enjoyed the read ![]() ![]() Zu |
||
anonymous albert ?![]()
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
yea...im glad you have seen it and noticed the real and fake in your perceptions...i liked the way you told it...great job stace ![]() ![]() ![]() i'm addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? [This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 05-31-2001).] |
||
Alyssa![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-05-30
Posts 385IM ENGAGED!!!!! |
call it "me, my soul, and I" its good, really descriptive! ![]() ±Ålyssa± |
||
cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
We laugh and love there in the rain... you use me and lose me... fly out like a dove. awwwww...you did real well on this poem stace...sad but wonderful descriptions!!..i loved it!!..more!! MORE says cherish!! sorry but i cant think of the name for it....im hopeless when it comes to naming poetry...hahah...just take a look at em..er the names i mean..DONT READ THEM!!...they suck compared to yours hehehe.. ![]()
|
||
Allan Riverwood![]() ![]()
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
I think the title should be "My eyes." ![]() |
||
![]() ![]() |
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
![]() ![]() ![]() |
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |