Teen Poetry #4 |
To little to late |
the_rescue Member
since 2001-05-23
Posts 316Japan |
I enjoy every minute with you you make the gray skies seem blue but there came a day you left for another it made me ask why did I bother I tried to keep you by my side I even let you on the insyde but it was to little to late I stared at the clock as I saw time fly by but our time was gone like the blink of an eye I saw you laugh, saw you cry, and loved your smile the time with you mades the pain worth while I watched you leave my side I still kept you insyde but it was to little to late You called me last night said hey stranger you doing alright neither one of us had much to say but the feelings were suddenly in my way. I know your not by my side I still keep you on the insyde but it remains to little to late. You shattered and broke my heart took it and just tore it apart you held my heart in your hand yet you dropped it I don't understand. I wanted you by my side I couldn't get you out of the insyde it's still to little to late. So here I sit and I still wait the thought of us still up for debate I don't know what exactly to do because I want but can't have you I hope to see you by my side I know you'll always remain insyde but is it to little to late. You see I loved you, maybe not the moment we met but the love I feel I cannot and will not forget you mean so much to me I'd give you the world if it would help you see I want you by my side it's an undescribable feeling insyde is it to little to late We tried it once, twice so what's the harm they say that three times is a charm or could it be three strikes and your out I'd take the chance to find this out Do you still want to be by my side Do you want me to keep you insyde or is it to little to late Ok this one means a lot to me it's about this girl that I totally adore and as you can tell she left me for another but I'd take her back in aheart beat The Rescue |
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punkrockerrobin
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
what's bout me? man as soon as i get my car i'm going on a road trip!love ya babe and you i always will! robin I AM WHAT I AM SO DEAL! |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
The ones that walk away always hurt the most. Your format and rhyme scheme were really good. Keep your chin up. ~AF~ Life is a mystery to be lived, not a problem to be solved." |
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~sugarpie313~ Member
since 2000-09-14
Posts 375Maine, USA |
omg i love this. it was soooooooooooooooooo good. and even tho i am a girl, i can still relate to your point of view because you never said girl, she, etc in it. i love poems that are versatile like this one... it makes it easier to relate cuz u dont' have ot be a guy or a girl EXCELLENT job i love the rhyming. nice flow, etc. all around cool poem!!! p.s. watch ur spelling... insyde-inside Valerie Why do you do what u do to me baby...you know if I could I'd do anything for you, please don't ignore me cause you know I adore you [This message has been edited by ~sugarpie313~ (edited 05-30-2001).] |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
your wrote this well...i enjoyed the emotions you expressed...and its sad situation and hope things work out best for you i'm addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? [This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 05-30-2001).] |
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the_rescue Member
since 2001-05-23
Posts 316Japan |
Hey I like the whole insyde thing thanks lol plus it's an insyde joke with the girl [This message has been edited by the_rescue (edited 05-30-2001).] |
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Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
this was really good. sorry *hugs*hope u feel better soon. fall hard, practice harder not to fall |
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Deranger Member
since 2000-05-10
Posts 498Somewhere, between here and there |
Nice poem, but watch that girl...Once a cheater, always a cheater. That's so hard to come to grips with... Don't delude reality, take it straight... Spreading insanity, one post at a time |
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LoneWolf Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 384IL |
WOW, i absolutly loved this. i can relate this poem so much. This was great, its going to my library. hope to see more. It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Well done on this one. I liked it.....and I know how this feels. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
ok firstly i gosta commend you on your format and rhyme scheme!!!...excellent job on that!...i loved it through out the whole thing!...brilliant job on it ..secondly i loved the poem....it told the story so well..i loved the way it changed slightly to suit what you were feeling...especially with the "inside" parts..i thought that that was ingeniuous (sp?)...loved the poem ...loved the read...got any more???hahah..more says i!
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knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
okays to me this read like a song! and i liked that muchs i think you did a wonderful job on this JimmAy! lols i noticed one lil pluralized word in thereS:P *does the jimmAy bes talkin likes me dance* newayz...this is just great and tis in me librarys! tiff “A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.” |
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the_rescue Member
since 2001-05-23
Posts 316Japan |
hey once again thnx for the welcome and such |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
I think you did a great job with this...very expressive! ~SEA |
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punkrockerrobin
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
this one made robin mad for certain reasons! I AM WHAT I AM SO DEAL! |
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