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Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

0 posted 2001-05-29 05:03 PM

Butterfly bombers.

How precious is the butterfly,
That flutters in the moonlit sky,
Wandering with seeming grace,
Illusive disappearing trace,

Searchlights in the midnight sky,
Monsters droning, flying high,
The beating wings they echo here,
War cry drumming out in fear,

Beauty flits through cloud too shy,
And struggling upon air so dry,
Sails on winds of gentle breeze,
Ripples cast aside with ease,

With all it’s heart it flies so high,
And flutters in the moonlit sky,
Soars above the ghostly cloud,
Tore itself up from the crowd

How precious is the butterfly
Thats looking for a place to die,
It crashes down and ebbs away,
Gliding upwards on a moon ray

Has anyone seen my cabbage?

E-mail/Msn: [email protected]

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

1 posted 2001-05-29 05:28 PM

Zu!...this piece was beautiful...the imagery

...the way it was written...great job...i really liked it and i hope to see more

i'm addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

[This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 05-29-2001).]

stace_co2003
Member

since 2001-03-30

Posts 497
In a dream world

2 posted 2001-05-29 05:37 PM

awwww, how cute!!!

*gasps*

he's over writers block!! he's over writers block!! he's over writers...ahem...sorry, I just kinda lost control...

you know what I love the most about this piece? no? well, I'm about to tell ya. first of all butterflies are my favorite creature and I love the way you capture their beauty in this poem.

With all it’s heart it flies so high,
And flutters in the moonlit sky,
Soars above the ghostly cloud,
Tore itself up from the crowd

I loved this stansa the most...this is definately a keeper...

*s*
Stace

I'm just glad that now this rainstorm has ended, and I can see the rainbow once again.

[This message has been edited by stace_co2003 (edited 05-29-2001).]

fractal007
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 1958

3 posted 2001-05-29 06:39 PM

I am surprised this hasn't gotten more replies. It is quite beautiful. The imagery in it is very well done. I particularly love night time atmospheres.

Your rhyme scheme was quite well done.

Great job. This one goes in my library!

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

4 posted 2001-05-29 11:34 PM

Amazing job zu....wowness on this one!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

stace_co2003
Member

since 2001-03-30

Posts 497
In a dream world

5 posted 2001-05-30 10:25 AM

*bump*

everyone should read this!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm just glad that now this rainstorm has ended, and I can see the rainbow once again.

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

6 posted 2001-05-30 11:33 AM

Thanks for bumping this Stace. Zu, I don't know about your opinion on this but you are one mighty good writer. You always captivate me with whatever you write.
This piece is nothing short of excellent.

Well done.

~AF~

Life is a mystery to be lived, not a problem to be solved."
-Van Kaam

stace_co2003
Member

since 2001-03-30

Posts 497
In a dream world

7 posted 2001-05-30 09:18 PM

one last time...

*bump*

Stace

I'm just glad that now this rainstorm has ended, and I can see the rainbow once again.

LoneWolf
Member

since 2001-03-10

Posts 384
IL

8 posted 2001-05-30 11:08 PM

wow, great job on this. it was beautiful. loved the imaagery.

It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that.
I've learned that even when you th

cherish
Senior Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........

9 posted 2001-05-30 11:42 PM

wow..this was really really nice...can i ask you sumthing..were you refering to choppers at times?...cuz if you were then thats ok...if you werent...heheh..then i should run..hahha...i love the whole flow of the poem..it was beautifully written my friend..and i realised you hit the 600!!!.

.wooooooooooooo hoooooooooo you go andrew!!..

loved the poem..agpfagp?...YES!!

"Life is not long and boring,
it's short and compelling." -Javier Agosto-

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

10 posted 2001-05-31 02:11 PM

Thanks Stace and this was sort of also about the Blitz... thanx for the replies everyone

Spine Grinder
Senior Member

since 2000-10-28

Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

11 posted 2001-05-31 07:36 PM

This was awesome.

this was so kool.
~going in my library

fall hard, practice harder not to fall

[This message has been edited by Spine Grinder (edited 05-31-2001).]

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

12 posted 2001-06-01 12:15 PM

Great work! Very, very awesome... I have not much more to say than that, I love the contrasting of the title... just amazing work, Zu.

~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
~Unknown

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

13 posted 2001-06-01 07:17 PM

Thanks for the replies everyone

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

14 posted 2001-06-02 03:38 AM

I've a tattoo of a butterfly on my upper left of my back....almost at my shoulder....love this......beautifully done

~SEA

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

15 posted 2001-06-03 01:50 AM

Absolutely beautiful..you give a whole new meaning to the beauty of butterflies...excellent

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

16 posted 2001-06-03 11:14 AM

I didn't realise that this was still floating around...

stace_co2003
Member

since 2001-03-30

Posts 497
In a dream world

17 posted 2001-06-08 11:52 AM

it's not.........well, it is now

I'm just glad that now this rainstorm has ended, and I can see the rainbow once again.

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

18 posted 2001-06-11 10:21 AM

ZU --- you seem to have grown a lot with reagard to your poetry. This is really good ~*applauds*~

hi Sweets, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Maree, Mic

Ina
Senior Member

since 2000-10-09

Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada

19 posted 2001-06-11 10:29 AM

You r like the prince of imagery. wow.
Better and better.

REgina

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

20 posted 2001-06-11 10:46 AM

Thanx for all the great replies...

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