Teen Poetry #4 |
Butterfly bombers. |
Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Butterfly bombers. How precious is the butterfly, That flutters in the moonlit sky, Wandering with seeming grace, Illusive disappearing trace, Searchlights in the midnight sky, Monsters droning, flying high, The beating wings they echo here, War cry drumming out in fear, Beauty flits through cloud too shy, And struggling upon air so dry, Sails on winds of gentle breeze, Ripples cast aside with ease, With all it’s heart it flies so high, And flutters in the moonlit sky, Soars above the ghostly cloud, Tore itself up from the crowd How precious is the butterfly Thats looking for a place to die, It crashes down and ebbs away, Gliding upwards on a moon ray Has anyone seen my cabbage? |
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© Copyright 2001 Andrew Sewell - All Rights Reserved | |||
anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
Zu!...this piece was beautiful...the imagery ...the way it was written...great job...i really liked it and i hope to see more i'm addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? [This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 05-29-2001).] |
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stace_co2003 Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497In a dream world |
awwww, how cute!!! *gasps* he's over writers block!! he's over writers block!! he's over writers...ahem...sorry, I just kinda lost control... you know what I love the most about this piece? no? well, I'm about to tell ya. first of all butterflies are my favorite creature and I love the way you capture their beauty in this poem. With all it’s heart it flies so high, And flutters in the moonlit sky, Soars above the ghostly cloud, Tore itself up from the crowd I loved this stansa the most...this is definately a keeper... *s* Stace I'm just glad that now this rainstorm has ended, and I can see the rainbow once again. [This message has been edited by stace_co2003 (edited 05-29-2001).] |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
I am surprised this hasn't gotten more replies. It is quite beautiful. The imagery in it is very well done. I particularly love night time atmospheres. Your rhyme scheme was quite well done. Great job. This one goes in my library! "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Amazing job zu....wowness on this one! I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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stace_co2003 Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497In a dream world |
*bump* everyone should read this!!!!!!!!!!! I'm just glad that now this rainstorm has ended, and I can see the rainbow once again. |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Thanks for bumping this Stace. Zu, I don't know about your opinion on this but you are one mighty good writer. You always captivate me with whatever you write. This piece is nothing short of excellent. Well done. ~AF~ Life is a mystery to be lived, not a problem to be solved." |
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stace_co2003 Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497In a dream world |
one last time... *bump* Stace I'm just glad that now this rainstorm has ended, and I can see the rainbow once again. |
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LoneWolf Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 384IL |
wow, great job on this. it was beautiful. loved the imaagery. It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that. |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
wow..this was really really nice...can i ask you sumthing..were you refering to choppers at times?...cuz if you were then thats ok...if you werent...heheh..then i should run..hahha...i love the whole flow of the poem..it was beautifully written my friend..and i realised you hit the 600!!!. .wooooooooooooo hoooooooooo you go andrew!!.. loved the poem..agpfagp?...YES!!
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Thanks Stace and this was sort of also about the Blitz... thanx for the replies everyone |
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Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
This was awesome. this was so kool. ~going in my library fall hard, practice harder not to fall [This message has been edited by Spine Grinder (edited 05-31-2001).] |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Great work! Very, very awesome... I have not much more to say than that, I love the contrasting of the title... just amazing work, Zu. ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Thanks for the replies everyone |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
I've a tattoo of a butterfly on my upper left of my back....almost at my shoulder....love this......beautifully done ~SEA |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Absolutely beautiful..you give a whole new meaning to the beauty of butterflies...excellent |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
I didn't realise that this was still floating around... |
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stace_co2003 Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497In a dream world |
it's not.........well, it is now I'm just glad that now this rainstorm has ended, and I can see the rainbow once again. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
ZU --- you seem to have grown a lot with reagard to your poetry. This is really good ~*applauds*~ hi Sweets, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Maree, Mic |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
You r like the prince of imagery. wow. Better and better. REgina |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Thanx for all the great replies... |
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