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Teen Poetry #4

When the hours creep

Kevin

Senior Member

since 1999-11-02

Posts 729
Torrington, Ct, Usa

0 posted 2001-05-29 04:15 AM

Cannot Sleep
You weep I know it
Show it, there’s no need to hide
Confide in me, I fear you’re sliding
Hiding while the hours creep

Tell me what’s wrong
I long to ease you,
Please you through these painful nights
The fights we’ve had have got me reeling
Feeling that we don’t belong

Tonight I need you
Plead you hold me
Mold me to your hearts desires
Fires burn from deep inside me
Guide me as I try to read you

Cannot Sleep
You weep I know it
Though it hasn’t yet been said
My head is spinning pictures of you
Love--- you find when hours creep

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

1 posted 2001-05-29 11:29 AM

emotional poem...great job

i'm addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

2 posted 2001-05-29 02:51 PM

I really enjoyed this one Kevin! Well done!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

3 posted 2001-05-29 11:38 PM

I specifically appreciate the creativity of this one as far as the rhyming is concerned... where you rhymed the first part of a line with the last part of the preceding line.
This was creative and it turned out well, but I think the most impressive part of this poem is not the technique but the originality.
Well done.
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
~Unknown

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

4 posted 2001-06-03 12:57 PM

Very nice

i dont see your poems very often but when i do im always impressed

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

5 posted 2001-06-03 11:14 PM

wonderful!!

Kevin

Senior Member

since 1999-11-02

Posts 729
Torrington, Ct, Usa

6 posted 2001-06-04 11:07 PM

thanks guys, was feeling creative

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