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Teen Poetry #4
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Walking with the devil
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Walking with the devil |
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little_krazy_poet Junior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 41 |
i wrote this one while on a walk i get out of my house at 3 in the morning and walk this is what came into my mind hope you like it i was walking along in the park at night when i game upon a stunning sight for on the horizon i say a man who did nothing but just stand he could see in my face all that days strife but i know he saw my hole life as i stood we looked at each other he started to feel like he was my brother we walked all around this town and all the while i heard not a sound i said not a thing but nether did he and we walked until noon of three we came back to where we started and from there i heavily departed even though we didn’t talk i felt like we did more than just walk he knew how i felt about being free that is why he is me |
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| © Copyright 2001 Matt B... - All Rights Reserved | |||
anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
great title!(as not in that way but the way of yourselfs situation)...and the poem itself was nice...i liked the way you expressed yourself in this...keep writing  ...?i'm addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Well done here. I loved the ending of this one. very unexpected for me. I liked it!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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vixengrl04 Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495East Haddam, CT |
This was a really interesting piece. I noticed some typos, but other than that I really liked it. The end was a real turn around because I did not expect this man to be you. Nice job with this.  ~*Nikki*~ ~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~ |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Wow..what an excellent piece. Even though it is written so simply and short, it gives out so much more. The ending rocks.  ~AF~ Life is a mystery to be lived, not a problem to be solved." |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Oh yes, this is definitely a great poem. I love how the flow dictates a pause after the line that reads simply "I walk." I wonder how many people missed that (not I!  ).Very good work. The ending I agree is nothing short of excellent. ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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little_krazy_poet Junior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 41 |
wow not many people got that... but... well.. never mind i'm just glad that people still like my poetry thanks |
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