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Godsend_1
Member

since 2001-04-19

Posts 247
great state of illinois

0 posted 2001-05-28 08:35 PM

ok i got me a tummy ache and i think thats why this poem is really messed up lol anywho enjoy. ben redshaw the great out!
dream of death
death of dreams
ending this
eternal being

i wish
i was
not here
for you

i am
not a
God meant
for you

i am
just man
not wizard
nor dream

i am
not death
in eternal theme

garden keys
unlocking dreams

break me
into
pieces

break me
down
like before

death in
my dreams
dreams in
my death

i say
farwell
and continue
my friend

beware
the killer
in my mind
sad depression
killing my time

end eternal
torment now
i hate this feeling
of hopeless
know how

goodbye dear friend
dear love
dear life

happy
i will
be forever more

happyness
is highly overated

Ina
Senior Member

since 2000-10-09

Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada

1 posted 2001-05-28 08:50 PM

This was awesome work!!!
library...

Regina

"Take a look at my face, there's no price I won't pay
To say these words to you"bon jovi

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

2 posted 2001-05-28 08:57 PM

well written poem...i really liked this.."great"

ben...ahaha...yea...hope to see more...im impressed

...keep writing

...?

i'm addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

3 posted 2001-05-29 01:35 AM

I felt the poem was all over the place in flow but it rocked......I absolutely adored stanzas 2-5. That scheme rocked, I really loved how it sounded. You did well.
Should write a poem with all the stanzas like that....I loved it.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

4 posted 2001-05-30 06:18 AM

"happyness
is highly overated"
Damn right it is!
The way this is written reads so freely and easily that you can't help but read it over and over.

You have done a wonderful job with this.

~AF~

Life is a mystery to be lived, not a problem to be solved."
-Van Kaam

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