navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #4 » thoughts on a cliche
Teen Poetry #4
Post A Reply Post New Topic thoughts on a cliche Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore

0 posted 2001-05-28 01:30 PM


Nay,

the grass may not be greenier

on the other side

but the sky is definitely bluer

and the widened eyes turn resolutely unblinking

All the better to absorb bliss with

© Copyright 2001 heng kaile - All Rights Reserved
Child of the Stars
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
1 posted 2001-05-28 01:44 PM


  Cool! Really creative look on what we see as cliches. I liked this a lot.  
  ~Carly

"Go outside and use your own eyes. You'll be surprised to see things you've never been taught..."
   ~Edouard Manet

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

2 posted 2001-05-28 01:54 PM


very creative...great imagery useage with meaning...i liekd it...thanks for sharing it and keep writing ...?

i'm addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
3 posted 2001-05-28 02:54 PM


Very nicely done here....I really thought you did well on this one. Looking forward to more.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

stace_co2003
Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497
In a dream world
4 posted 2001-05-28 03:09 PM


great poem....

it was really great, and I hope to hear more!! or read more, whatever!!  


*s*
Stace

I'm just glad that now this rainstorm has ended, and I can see the rainbow once again.

obscurity of cloud
Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294
....:::::******:::::....
5 posted 2001-05-28 07:15 PM


I like this a lot!  I always say that in poetry, you've got to avoid cliche like the plague....  

"so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost

kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
6 posted 2001-05-29 01:05 AM


thank you....while i was travelling, i was constantly amazed at how beautiful the skies were and how i never actually bothered to appreciate the skies back home...

that led to this musing and yup, i strive to admire the clouds always

ahh, the simple things in life...

anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
7 posted 2001-05-30 06:10 AM


Very nice. The clouds give the best inspiration for poems. Indeed, the simple things in life.  

Well done.

~AF~

Life is a mystery to be lived, not a problem to be solved."
-Van Kaam

Yu Lan
Senior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 1462
New Zealand
8 posted 2001-06-01 06:08 AM


I'm laughing now.. this is so.. neat! ^_^ Enjoyed muchly Kai Le.. thanx for putting this link in the Poetry Haven..

“One word can be magical. Imagine then, the effect of several words, together..”

branden726
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-09-25
Posts 607
Bay City, MI
9 posted 2001-06-01 07:07 AM


Well i must say this is a first ive ever read in passions :-/ well hey keep up the good work its a really good poem

*Tears of love*
*Tears of faith*
*Never any Tears of hate*

kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
10 posted 2001-06-03 12:06 PM


thank you for your comments...
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
11 posted 2001-06-03 10:51 PM


now this....is good    
Meggie1986
Junior Member
since 2001-05-22
Posts 41
California
12 posted 2001-06-04 05:51 PM


Very nice outlook  .  This is great

*One meets his destiny often in the road he takes to avoid it.

kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
13 posted 2001-06-05 06:40 AM


SEA and Meggie, i am glad you enjoyed this musing...   because i always strive to look at things from an unique outlook...

[This message has been edited by faterider (edited 06-05-2001).]

Mon Cherie
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-10-31
Posts 922
Land of Never-ending Summers
14 posted 2001-11-17 11:46 AM


Yes, I realised that too.
The grass might not be greener, but the skies are bluer!!  
Always so clear and cloudless here, that's the only thing I don't miss about home.  

kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
15 posted 2003-03-17 12:23 PM


hmmm, thinking of submitting this for Reflections
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #4 » thoughts on a cliche

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary