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Child of the Stars
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since 2000-09-07
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Ann Arbor, MI

0 posted 2001-05-21 02:27 PM


I kiss goodbye my Sunday afternoons
I'm touched again with life I've never seen
Companions are no longer my cocoon

The children hold the remnants of balloons
They've found beneath the valleys rich and green
I kiss goodbye my Sunday afternoons

From memories you see I am immune
I wonder what my mother really means
Companions are no longer my cocoon

I've known the flesh eternities too soon
The fault of all mutations is the gene
I kiss goodbye my Sunday afternoons

A bullet hits the glass of Mother's womb
We'll watch her weep upon the tragic scene
Companions are no longer my cocoon

So take my heart and find my perilune
I'm lost and need your words to intervene
I kiss goodbye my Sunday afternoons
Companions are no longer my cocoon


© Copyright 2001 Carly Anne Van Dort - All Rights Reserved
Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
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San Juan, Puerto Rico
1 posted 2001-05-21 02:30 PM


Very well done here carly! This was such a wonderful poem. You write so well and I constantly tell you this...so believe it woman, believe it.
This one was great!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Elusive^
Junior Member
since 2001-05-13
Posts 18
dancing fairy land
2 posted 2001-05-21 03:54 PM


not sure if it was intended..but sadness and I think, regret and longing seeps from your words..
This is something that's like a crystal..people see different colours when holding it at different angles to the light..

Keep writing..this is intriguing..


''I'll TAKE a QUIET life..a HANDSHAKE of CARBON monoxide with NO alarms AND no SURPRISES..''
'LaniDarkone'..underwent a change of name.

vixengrl04
Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495
East Haddam, CT
3 posted 2001-05-21 04:30 PM


I like the way Elusive described this piece, and I agree.  This was very very good, I liked it alot and it is going in my library.  I am curious as to what the form of this poem is though...

~*Nikki*~

~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~

obscurity of cloud
Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294
....:::::******:::::....
4 posted 2001-05-21 06:25 PM


this is amazing!  I especially loved the image of the womb.  The German title had a great effect with the reference later on.  Amazing

"so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost

anonymous albert ?
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Posts 2979

5 posted 2001-05-21 09:51 PM


?...hehe...carly this was beautiful...i enjoyed every second that i was reading it...thanks for the wonderful read...cya~... ...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

Marshalzu
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Lurking
6 posted 2001-05-22 08:30 AM


Well done Carly, i enjoyed this immensely and you managed to develop the theme through out the poem... well done *in awe*  
Zu

anonymousfemale
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since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
7 posted 2001-05-22 10:07 AM


Wonderful, Carly. Especially the title. Very nice use of German there.  

You're a star, girl.  

~AF~

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
~ Unknown ~

banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
8 posted 2001-05-22 05:43 PM


beautiful writing carly, this is really amazing poetry    i loved every line of this, it goes straight to the library  

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Sven
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East Lansing, MI USA
9 posted 2001-05-22 06:43 PM


hey Carly, I really like this. . . it's got a good form, and you really understand how to use it well. . . it makes you think. . . and shows what happens when you leave that cocoon. . . it kinda reminded me of Emily Dickinson in a way, although she would have never written one this long!    But her style and tone are there. . .

excellent. . .

----------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

knightlyshadows
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791
obscured vision
10 posted 2001-05-23 02:27 AM


Carly this was wonderful. i enjoyed it lots.
great job hunnAy. *hugs* love ya muchs!
tiff

“A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.”

I want to look into your eyes and see you smile at me
I want to hear you say "Well done"

Fading Away
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Lynchburg, Virginia
11 posted 2001-06-16 01:56 PM


Simply beautiful words, Carly.  I enjoyed this so much.  I love villanelles!  This one's another one that's goin back to the first page where it belongs.  Beautiful work.  I enjoyed this.
Well done.

--Marie

"You're the girl of my nightmares, erotic and skull-faced.
You're an Anorexic Beauty, feather-weight perfection.  Anorexic

Marshalzu
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Lurking
12 posted 2003-03-04 11:50 AM


I just love villanelle's and this one is no exception.
Child of the Stars
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Ann Arbor, MI
13 posted 2003-03-20 03:40 PM


I thank you, Zu. (and a belated thanks to anyone who replied above and might read this)

empty arms
and half a soul to go
                     -el sol
                        --Zwan

Local Parasite
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since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
14 posted 2003-03-20 04:13 PM


Two years later is beyond belated.  

Oh, and did anyone get the double-meaning of the title???  I thought that was brilliant!!

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