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Tears_of_a_Phoenix
New Member

since 2001-05-28

Posts 4
Ballarat, Vic

0 posted 2001-05-28 07:17 AM

Breathe

It hurts to breathe
Life needs breath
It aches to live
Survival or death

Lived in vain
The present painted
The future unknown
The past tainted

I have nowhere to hide
I have nowhere to run
The fog so thick
The burden a tonne

My only escape
No longer exists
The friend once there
No more than a myth

Earth open up
Swallow me whole
Take away the pain
Eat my sorrow

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

1 posted 2001-05-28 10:34 AM

Very well done, I enjoyed reading this piece immensley and I hope to see more work from you in the future... Keep on sharing

Zu

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

2 posted 2001-05-28 12:35 PM

If it is full of raw thoughts, it's a winner.

Well done on a great piece.

~AF~

Know what you want. Become your real self.
~ David Harold Fink ~

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

3 posted 2001-05-28 01:34 PM

great job...intense writing...i liked this quite a bit...thanks for sharing it and keep writing

...?

i'm addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

4 posted 2001-05-28 02:52 PM

Well done on this one. I enjoyed this!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Wood_Stock
Member

since 2001-05-09

Posts 58
The little yellow

5 posted 2001-05-29 03:09 AM

Errrrr....

now I'm really worried.

All this talk of friendship gone wrong.

I like your work, I really do.
But (call me big-headed), I'm a bit concerned that this may be about our friendship.

And I, REALLY, hope I'm just being full of myself and am wrong.

vixengrl04
Member

since 2001-04-26

Posts 495
East Haddam, CT

6 posted 2001-05-29 09:45 AM

This had so much sadness in it, I felt as if I could really feel your pain. I'm so sorry that you feel this way, but you wrote a beautiful poem!!

Hope 2 see more stuff from you soon!

~*Nikki*~

~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

7 posted 2001-05-29 10:42 PM

Hmm... nice work. I agree with AF, very true thoughts that shine through.
This makes for great verse. The flow in here was done well with magnificent imperfect rhyme.
Very good work, I look forward to reading more.
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
~Unknown

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

8 posted 2001-06-02 12:58 PM

Beautifully written...i really enjoyed this!!!

stace_co2003
Member

since 2001-03-30

Posts 497
In a dream world

9 posted 2001-06-07 10:27 PM

I really like this poem. keep writing!! (oh, and sorry I'm a bit late...I've been on vacation and I've got a lot to make up for...so all of my messages I'm trying to make short and to the point.)
but good job.

I'm just glad that now this rainstorm has ended, and I can see the rainbow once again.

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