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Teen Poetry #4
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knightlyshadows
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791
obscured vision

0 posted 2001-06-01 05:42 AM


we dance along the rinding way
circling each other in these steps
the light from the moon is shining in your eyes
as we twirl in and around this faerie ring

we reveal in the innocense of this waltz
laughing with the joyfullness of such pleasure
the innocense of the young lost in each other
as they escape reality in the faerie ring

we got swept away in the land of no time
continuing forever without even trying
the concept of when lost in this daze
as we're trapped in the charm of this faerie ring

we try to remember the time of before
thinking of when our world was not perfect
the perfection of an unperfect place
as we struggle to break out of the faerie ring

“A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.”

Where are you when i need you....?

© Copyright 2001 Tiffany Durham - All Rights Reserved
branden726
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-09-25
Posts 607
Bay City, MI
1 posted 2001-06-01 07:09 AM


Wow, this is good kinda different in a way but good i like it

*Tears of love*
*Tears of faith*
*Never any Tears of hate*

Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
2 posted 2001-06-01 12:45 PM


Hey, cool!  Is this about the Briarlea Faerie Ring?  That immediately drew me into the poem.
I had fun dancing with you on the ring, sis!  
I've been writing about these places myself... I want to do a lighthouse poem!  
But it's not working so far.  Whaa  
Ah well.  
You did a great job on this poem, I love it a lot... keep on posting for us!
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
3 posted 2001-06-01 01:35 PM


Firstly, awesome title. For once someone spelt faerie right!!  

I liked the way you kept the faerie ring line incorporated in each stanza. That really added a good effect to the piece.

Well done, Tiff.  

~AF~

Life is a mystery to be lived, not a problem to be solved."
-Van Kaam

fearing-laughter
Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)
4 posted 2001-06-01 04:06 PM


heeeey,
kool poem, i really liked it.  dunno what else to say...i liked it lol.  now i'm repeating myself...yay.  just remember that i liked it.
-fear-

chasing rain
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737
Canada
5 posted 2001-06-01 04:22 PM


YAY! FAERIE STUFF!
I, too, liked the title and the way you incorporated the faering at the end of each stanza. Very cool, very neat!  

¤ ¢H@§ïÑg RåIñ ¤

"If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that i was made for another world."
-C.S.Lewis

Spine Grinder
Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...
6 posted 2001-06-01 07:54 PM


I liked this one, Nice job.

fall hard, practice harder not to fall

obscurity of cloud
Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294
....:::::******:::::....
7 posted 2001-06-01 10:32 PM


I love the topic!  Great work.

"so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost

obscurity of cloud
Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294
....:::::******:::::....
8 posted 2001-06-01 10:32 PM


I love the topic!  Great work.

"so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost

obscurity of cloud
Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294
....:::::******:::::....
9 posted 2001-06-01 10:33 PM


I love the topic!  Great work.

"so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

10 posted 2001-06-02 12:04 PM


great job here...i really enjoyed the poem greatly tiff...the title was well thought of ...bye

i'm addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

Meggie1986
Junior Member
since 2001-05-22
Posts 41
California
11 posted 2001-06-02 12:07 PM


Very nice.  It's different, and it made for a nice change.  I love how the ending is the same, but different in each stanza.  I also love the ideas of faerie rings.  Beautiful job!

*One meets his destiny often in the road he takes to avoid it.

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
12 posted 2001-06-02 04:18 AM


Well done here. I enjoyed this poem. I liked the message within it Tiff. Well done!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

katherine
Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365
Canberra Australia
13 posted 2001-06-02 08:25 AM


this is good i liked it.
well done.
katie

We all make mistakes. We all cause others pain. DEAL

xShUgArHiGhx
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
14 posted 2001-06-07 10:28 PM


Awesome read and the imagery was nice...very fantasy like  
DarkAngelOfTheStars
Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 255

15 posted 2001-06-07 10:34 PM


nice job  

Dont knock on deaths door ...... ring the bell and run......he hates that

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