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Teen Poetry #4
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In Love with a Dream
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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In Love with a Dream |
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IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723
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Note: Wrote this one real quick, and it may not be that good but I'll just post and see what you think... So be honest because I am no good a judging my own poetry. Oh, and the format: I use to write like this alot. I hope it's alright and doesn't take away from anything but I just wanted, as DreadedLiver said, "spice it up a little"  So here it is: In Love with a Dream... I've danced, with you dancing in my head I've dreamed, of you dreaming in my bed Trying to keep be- lieving that you really are coming longing yearning ...waiting Longing for the day that fate grabs the wheel Turns this life around and love becomes real Yearning your sweet kiss for me at bedtime and for that night to become a lifetime Longing Yearning Waiting for my dance with you for my dream to come true < !signature--> "Every body has their destiny... I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN ~Hatebreed~ [This message has been edited by IsGona (edited 01-25-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 IsGona - All Rights Reserved | |||
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Jason, I remember you writing like this. When I saw it I was like 'Oh hey! I know that!" Its a sweet poem...I hope you get your dream. So many people don't... ~AF~ "Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment." Buddha |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
This was great! I liked it a lot. not only was the style dif (i've seen it before from you), but the poem was great. I liked it a lot.....keep it up.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Y'know whut? YOU ROCK! Haha but you already knew that. The poem is beautiful. Believe it when I say it...I just love this style. Pleeeeze keep writing, cuz I love it all. ~Carly inspiration of my art search for light out of the dark all the pictures in my heart lie awake there in my fog... |
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sweetstuff101 Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 375OK, USA |
Amen brotha! Don't we all know how that feels!! I don't know how many times I've wanted that 'dream' guy to be mine. This poem really rox! Keep up the awesome work, and keep postin! Luv Always, Priscilla How come it is so easy for a person to say "I hate you," but it is so difficult for someone to say "I love you" and really mean it???? |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Awwww, Jason, you're such a romantic! Is this really about a girl? Maybe you should just take a risk and ask her out... girls are always suckers for a poet!! Good job, glad to see you post something new!! xoxo Jenn "A person can never get over a broken heart if they aren't willing to let go of all of the pieces."-- ?? |
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IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723 |
Thank you every one... AF ~ Good to see you recognized the style and that you liked it. Thank you Dopey ~ It means a lot to get a compliment from you. Not that you use them sparingly but each one means something. Thanks Carly ~ You got one thing right. I ROCK...  Well not really. But if you think so, lets just go with it. And the poem if you say it's good, I believe you there to... Wow now me ego can explode all over the screen.. hehe thanksSweetStuff ~ Yes I think we all have these hopes. I'm sure it'll happen some day, but when (((???))) Thank you Jenn ~ a romantic??? cool, I always wanted to be one of those  but seriously thanks, that means a lot. And actually this is not about a real person but about the ideal person that, as of now, only exists in my head (well to me anyhow, I hope she exists out there somewhere). Thank you again. You were very kindThanks again to every one. ~Jason "Every body has their destiny... I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN ~Hatebreed~ |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
i agree that you are a romantic your writing shows it all looks like a little influence by E.E. yourself eh? i really love these unique styles, and i love your writing, its filled with such love and sincerity. ~JDR "Is it love in my gut, or piss in my bladder?" -Allan Riverwood |
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DreadedLiver Member
since 2001-01-23
Posts 56Alter, Ego |
wow... you really over did it here I think this beats any EE work... jeremy is true in saying that your work is full of love and sincerity... im glad you like to spice it up as well, different styles always create a sense of creativeness and imaginativeness.... beautiful work -Knightfellow "If you had a choice to believe in yourself, or another person, who would it be?" |
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anomaly187 Member
since 2000-06-15
Posts 284San Francisco,CA,US |
hey this is a great style!..i loved the whole poem and look foward to more..great job "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro" |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
You didn't have to spice it up cause it already was beautifully written my friend I'm gonna have to agree when they say you are a romantic keep writing and sharing I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723 |
Well I've never been called a romantic before. Well I guess I have but I don't see what it is in this poem that makes you all say that. I'm glad it does though. Thanks JDR ~ Actually yeah, I love e.e. but this style was actually influenced by a friend. He introduced me to this style with one of his poems. He thought it sucked but I thought it was great, so yeah I stole it from him Thanks for the readDL ~ I think you exaggerate, but geez thanks. What else can I say. 187 ~ Thank you, but don't hold your breath. I'm a very casual poet and prolly wont post again for a week or so. but again thanks for reading this one. acire ~ Thank you mr. moderator. hehe that still seems weird to me (congrats) but since you are a mod now your replies are automatically 10 times as important... haha jk but really thanks for the reply~Jason |
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StarPryncess17 Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932Colorado |
Wow! What a lovely piece. I thought that I remembered the style and I hope to see more of it. It is unique. Your title fit this perfectly. I too am in love with a dream. But mine slightly differs. "Tell me why you cry" |
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~*Buffy Summers*~ Junior Member
since 2000-11-30
Posts 24Avondale,AZ,USA |
aww How sweet... I read it and thought WOW!?!?! I liked it alot. It captures what Im going threw with this guy right now. Hes nevr there. Well E-mail me I'd love to talk to you... [email protected] Kim Rayann |
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IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723 |
StarPryncess ~ Thank you so much for your reply. I'm actually quite happy you commented on the title because I didn't really know if I liked it. But it's good to know that you did. I hope you love and your dream comes real someday. Buffy ~ Thank you a lot. It means much. I got your e-mail. I will write you back as soon as I get a chance. ~Jason "Every body has their destiny... I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN ~Hatebreed~ |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
This was such an amazing poem! I really liked it |
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TrueLUV Member
since 2000-07-19
Posts 158Connecticut, U.S.A. |
I loved it...hey sometimes I have the same dreams so I feel you great piece once again |
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katherine Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Canberra Australia |
this is awesome i love it! |
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IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723 |
Thank you all very much... It's so cool that I can say that with out feeling guilty about bumping my own poem. I love the new forum To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese |
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