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fozzyozzy
Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia

0 posted 2001-05-27 09:43 PM

Death

I had a notebook
As he wrote his mind
"Who should smile under the willow tree
When the snow falls elagantly
Only to die melting and returning to the sky
To die again."
If I met him
The day I died
His tears would drown nobody
If he felt pity for me
On this bluff so many before
In these woods and in my promises
Death smiles never frowns
But cries for those who die
"Death itself is dead," he wrote in his notebook
of black bound despair; "I shed no tears for thee
I shed no tears for me
As Death would
Would he?"

Snow fell gently if not
Elegantly outside his window
His bleeding heart ceased
In the bedroom formerly kept
By master whose own bullet caught
Death sat by and wept
For a soul he didn'a take
Nor did he save
From the Willow tree
From the grave.
-----------------------------
A wee bit o' free verse

"The heart can think of no devotion
Greater than being shore to ocean
Holding the curve of one position
Counting an endless repetition"
Robert Fr

stace_co2003
Member

since 2001-03-30

Posts 497
In a dream world

1 posted 2001-05-27 09:54 PM

well, that was really good, but a tad bit depressing...
I love the way you put everything so nicely.

it's great...keep up the good work!!

*s*
Stace

I'm just glad that now this rainstorm has ended, and I can see the rainbow once again.

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

2 posted 2001-05-27 09:56 PM

depressing poem!

...great job...i really liked this poem...and the last lines were nice...hope to see more

...keep writing

...?

i'm addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

3 posted 2001-05-28 02:03 AM

Well done here fozzy. I liked this one.
Not as good as the other one, but still a nice read.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

4 posted 2001-05-28 12:16 PM

I had to read this a few times to really take all of it in. The piece is really original and your free verse kicks major butt.

Well done.

~AF~

Know what you want. Become your real self.
~ David Harold Fink ~

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