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Teen Poetry #4
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MoeRocko
Member
since 2001-04-25
Posts 166
West Virginia

0 posted 2001-05-27 01:45 PM



Your words to me just a whisper
Your faces so unclear
I try to pay attention
All your words disappear
It's always raining in my head
I speak to you in riddles
Because my words get in my way

Maybe I want to fall apart
or dig myself a little hole
inside your precious heart

Its always raining in my head
Forget all these things I've said
I'm nothing more than a little boy inside
I cry for your attention
Though I always try to hide

I try to dry the tears I shed
But It's always raining inside my head
Let's forget all that I've said

This Is Not Here

How do I know where to go when I don't know which way I'm facing

© Copyright 2001 Ewok Enterprise - All Rights Reserved
Sparkie4PLUR
New Member
since 2001-05-03
Posts 8

1 posted 2001-05-27 05:53 PM


This poem could use a little work, but all in all it is a good poem and expression. The first stanza is what caught me, it made me think about when I am getting lectured by my parents. Well, keep up the good work!

PLUR
Sparkie

"The music will never stop, the heartbeat will never fade, the party will NEVER end."

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

2 posted 2001-05-27 06:49 PM


great job...the flow was nice...i enjoyed this poem...thanks for sharing and keep writing ...?

i'm addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
3 posted 2001-05-28 12:44 PM


Nicely done here. I enjoyed this one Moe.
Well done!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
4 posted 2001-05-28 11:00 AM


There are some very interesting lines in this piece. One that particulary stood out was:
"It's always raining in my head
I speak to you in riddles
Because my words get in my way"

They really sunk right in.

I'll be looking for more.  

~AF~

Know what you want. Become your real self.
~ David Harold Fink ~

Marshalzu
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681
Lurking
5 posted 2001-05-28 11:08 AM


A great poem, well done I really enjoyed the read  
Zu

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