untitled (to my dead friends)

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litle_krazy_poet
Member

since 2001-01-17

Posts 71

0 posted 2001-01-25 12:51 PM

it's alaroud
in this town
all my thoughts
upsidedown

i walk
down the street
because i have
friends to meet

not of life
but of death
theres no need
to take a breth

under the groud
where thay lay
the garve yard
where we play

thay make me take risks
i wold not take
my sole
is what thay shake

they puse me
and make me do
thing i would do,
what thay say is true

"life is short
do all you can
befor you know it
you a dead man"

i write this poem to my three dead firends. if i could see them this is what thay would say. i just know it.< !signature-->

somethings need poems and then there are thoes that are just for fun

[This message has been edited by litle_krazy_poet (edited 01-25-2001).]

IsGona
Senior Member

since 2000-07-14

Posts 723

1 posted 2001-01-25 12:55 PM

Right on LKP. Life is short, and I know I waste it more than I should. Thanks for the reminder, but I'm sorry about the circumstances that brought this poem about. I can't even imagine what that is like.
Best Wishes
Jason

"Every body has their destiny...
I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN
~Hatebreed~

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

2 posted 2001-01-25 01:08 PM

LKP, this is a really heart felt poem. Life shouldn't be wasted away. So if you can fix your life, fix it. If not...

~AF~

"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment."
Buddha

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

3 posted 2001-01-25 01:45 PM

I thought the poem rocked, but I have to comment on the spelling errors. They cut off to the flow. I wouldn't say anything if it were one or two, but there are many. If you'd like to improve the flow of it and not make the reader stop for a split second to recognize the word, then correct spelling is imperative.
Once again, wonderful poem.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

litle_krazy_poet
Member

since 2001-01-17

Posts 71

4 posted 2001-01-25 06:51 PM

ok i have jsut fixed the poem. i hope you all like it thanks and please call me ~Matt~

~Matt~

somethings need poems and then there are thoes that are just for fun

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

5 posted 2001-01-26 12:43 PM

the poem is compelling
just a little spelling errors though

"they make me take risks" -- what do you mean?

"they push me
and make me do
things i would'nt do,
what thay say is true

"life is short
do all you can
before you know it
you a dead man""

You know, i think otherwise
They're probably telling you not to make the same mistakes as they have
That's what a true friend would tell you in my personal opinion

I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR

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