Pursuit of a Doubt (1) - pipTalk Forums

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fozzyozzy
Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia

0 posted 2001-05-25 10:18 PM

Pursuit of A Doubt (1)

She wants none
Are the hands on her clock
To grasp mine?
When reaches the end
What now
Is time's rounded face
There to kiss mine?
Will the organs smile
With my song?

Pages of months
I write the letters of love
To keep YOUR track on

Tears wont fall ever
Your heart weeps
A horrible cry
No one will ever hear

She had kisses for thee and not me
Watch now as I dance alone so silently

"The heart can think of no devotion
Greater than being shore to ocean
Holding the curve of one position
Counting an endless repetition"
Robert Fr

pharon
Member

since 1999-11-13

Posts 251
alabama

1 posted 2001-05-25 10:26 PM

oh wow...everytime i read your stuff i seem to be at a loss for words..(that's a good thing) very good job on this one, i had to read it a couple times (again...good thing)

me

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

2 posted 2001-05-26 01:07 AM

"She had kisses for thee and not me
Watch now as I dance alone so silently"

that was some powerful verses...i raelly liked the poem overall...great job and hope to see more...

...?

ahhhhh....i'm addicted to passions in poetry!!!!!

fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

3 posted 2001-05-26 01:29 AM

whoa, i liked this one loooots and lots. i agree with albert that the last stanza rocked! i can't wait to read pursuit of doubt 2. thanks for the kool poem to keep me entertained during my insomnia.
-fear-

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

4 posted 2001-05-26 08:02 PM

This was pretty good. I liked the ending to this one. Off to the second part...

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

5 posted 2001-05-27 08:03 AM

What a great piece to pave the way for two part poem. Like everyone else said, the ending was definitely the best. But your opening two lines are fantastic as well.

~AF~

"I'm not a slave to a God that doesn't exist."
Manson - The Fight Song

vixengrl04
Member

since 2001-04-26

Posts 495
East Haddam, CT

6 posted 2001-05-27 11:48 AM

Oooh this was soo good!! I see that there is a second one, so I will have 2 go read that now!

~*Nikki*~

~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~

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