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broken wing
Junior Member

since 2001-04-30

Posts 37

0 posted 2001-05-25 05:24 PM

a long long time ago
i remember being happy
a time when all was perfect
you and me, we made an us
now its just you
....and me

a long long time ago
i remember not having you
a time when it was just me
and i was happy
now i just wait
....to be again

a long long time from now
ill be happy again
a time when it will be just me
and ill be happy
when its just me
....just me

"To me, fair friend, u never can be old,
For as u were when first ur eye I eyed,
Such seems ur beauty still." ~W.S.

HeAvEnS AnGeL
Member

since 2001-05-17

Posts 168
The Hot Girl From Canada

1 posted 2001-05-25 05:39 PM

sweetie if your not happy with the person you are with then why are you with them?
don't stay in a relationship that doesn't make you happy.
Lotsa love and hugs

Don't frown, you never know who is falling in love with your smile :)

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

2 posted 2001-05-25 09:21 PM

i love the way you have wrote this poem...great job...i enjoyed this greatly...and hope things gets better broken...hope to see more and keep writing...

...?

ahhhhh....i'm addicted to passions in poetry!!!!!

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

3 posted 2001-05-26 05:17 PM

I like the way it was written and if you'd like some advice then I think angel gave it all, but if you'd like to talk i'm here

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

4 posted 2001-05-27 07:51 AM

The pauses added a nice effect to the piece.
I hope things are a little bit better now.

~AF~

"I'm not a slave to a God that doesn't exist."
Manson - The Fight Song

LoveBug

Moderator

Member Elite

since 2000-01-08

Posts 4697

5 posted 2001-05-27 09:06 AM

I really like this piece. Although I agree with the above replies in saying that you shouldn't feel this way, you portray your emotions well. I like the style you used, too. Thanks for sharing.

"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli

vixengrl04
Member

since 2001-04-26

Posts 495
East Haddam, CT

6 posted 2001-05-27 11:40 AM

I like this piece alot, and I think it's important to realize that you don't need someone else to be happy with you..just you. Great work.

~*Nikki*~

~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~

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