Teen Poetry #4 |
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i don't know |
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pharon Member
since 1999-11-13
Posts 251alabama |
** i put both of these on the same page b/c i didn't want to waste space and b/c they're no where as good as the one's i had yesterday... me the eyes hOllOw beauty reminiscent of echanted moons ------------- RAGE consumed as passions gaze above that silent bewitching mOOn |
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© Copyright 2001 maria g robinson - All Rights Reserved | |||
pharon Member
since 1999-11-13
Posts 251alabama |
i am VERY open to any suggestions...if you want to add on or tie in...infact, do you think i should tie these two together..i just kind of noticed that they're both about the moon...help me |
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fozzyozzy Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 336Lessburg Virginia |
I liked the mOOn for some reason. Don't know why. I like your poetry a lot and I could see how you could cram two of those suckers on one page. But short reads are cool especially since I have no attention span. fozzy "The heart can think of no devotion |
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anonymous albert ?![]()
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
sorry about yesterday...lol...cuz i can kinda see the creative side to your sytle...i liked them...and keep writing... ![]() if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
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Dopey Dope![]()
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I absolutely love your style and ya....i think the two fit well with one another. ![]() I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Acies![]()
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
I could see a lot of talent in you. Keep writing. Thanks for the wonderful read, that was really good I'm so sorry for doubting you Kit ... please forgive me!!!! |
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Allan Riverwood![]() ![]()
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
If you are very open to suggestions, I think you should put up your critique flag... that's something in your profile that will remind the people AS they reply that you are "very open to suggestions." It's also a rule that we can't critique someone unless they have this flag up. ![]() I also like this one... primarily because of how original it was to use the capitalized vowel sounds like that. Felt like a cow was reading the poem. hehe... ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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