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Teen Poetry #4

Suffer in our consequence

Kevin

Senior Member

since 1999-11-02

Posts 729
Torrington, Ct, Usa

0 posted 2001-05-24 10:14 PM

She never stopped to say goodbye
Such complete lack of reverence
I never stopped to wonder why
No trauma in post severance
In love its easy to deny
The glaring shared incompetence
Until we catch our self pressed lie
And suffer in our consequence

cherish
Senior Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........

1 posted 2001-05-24 10:20 PM

wow...that took my breath away!!!...short but oh so good!!..loved the whole ryhme scheme and everything! thanks for the read kevin!!!

"Life is not long and boring,
it's short and compelling." -Javier Agosto-

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

2 posted 2001-05-25 12:09 PM

wow this was so amazing!! so beautifully written..great job!

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

3 posted 2001-05-25 01:55 AM

ditto on everyones reply...great job!!...hope to see more...

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

4 posted 2001-05-25 04:01 AM

Kevin, another wonderful poem! You never cease to amaze me with your work.
Well done and keep them coming!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

5 posted 2001-05-29 02:06 PM

Excellent thoughts. I loved this short but wonderful read. Thanks for sharing. keep it up

I'm so sorry for doubting you Kit ... please forgive me!!!!

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

6 posted 2001-05-29 11:24 PM

Great, great work! Just great... Iambic Trimeter, I think it is, right?
It was chopped up in the second line but everywhere else it was solid and gave this poem's flow a mind of its own.
Nice work.

~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
~Unknown

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