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Child of the Stars

Senior Member

since 2000-09-07

Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

0 posted 2001-01-24 08:44 PM

The feather and the fish awoke,
Both drowsy from their dreams.
Each hosted minds unlike their kind,
Imaginations gleamed.

The feather and the fish arose,
Escaped their monsters dark.
They pondered life in other's world
And soon, a light did spark!

The feather and the fish, aloud
Proclaimed their newest thought.
"Why shan't we not leave from this place,
So weak and so distraught?"

The feather and the fish, among
Counless admiring fans
Prepared for the departure to
The other being's land.

The feather and the fish; anew
With a divinest hope.
The feather traveled to the sea,
And fish, for clouds did grope.

The feather and the fish arrived
To other's brand new world.
Yet both were so dissatisfied,
Each left, with anger hurled.

The feather and the fish, asleep
Now dreaming of the sun.
A brilliant death, so far away.
New Life: the Perfect One.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

1 posted 2001-01-24 09:18 PM

Carly omg, this was an amazing poem. So good, so wonderful.......Wonderful poem carly wow. I liked this one a lot. So original and nicely composed. My fav by you!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

IsGona
Senior Member

since 2000-07-14

Posts 723

2 posted 2001-01-24 09:27 PM

Yeah I totally agree with Dopey. I don't thinkI can sat "WOW" and "This is amazing" enough. But I can say it a couple so Wow this is really amazing, REALY wow you are an amazing tallent. Well theres a start I'm sure the rest of them will say it several more times. Great work Carly. I loved it.
~Jason

"Every body has their destiny...
I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN
~Hatebreed~

katherine
Member

since 2000-06-10

Posts 365
Canberra Australia

3 posted 2001-01-24 09:30 PM

wow wow wow! awesome poem
keep it up

DreadedLiver
Member

since 2001-01-23

Posts 56
Alter, Ego

4 posted 2001-01-24 10:38 PM

wow... great story... i really loved the perfect title, as well as amusing literary devices... keep it up.

-Knightfellow

"If you had a choice to believe in yourself, or another person, who would it be?"

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

5 posted 2001-01-24 10:49 PM

astonished!!!
Carly...this is the one you made in 5 minutes?
WOW WOW WOW!!!
as i've said before, you never seize to amaze me
i'm totally in envy of your talents in writing

again, i bow infront of you in praise

I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR

Child of the Stars

Senior Member

since 2000-09-07

Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

6 posted 2001-01-26 03:02 PM

Hey everyone. I can't even begin to thank you enough for your replies. But I ask one thing of those who might reply after this...What did it mean to you? Just wondering. Thanks again you wunnerful people.

~Carly

inspiration of my art search for light out of the dark all the pictures in my heart lie awake there in my fog...

Morouxshi San
Member

since 2000-10-11

Posts 207
San Juan, Puerto Rico

7 posted 2001-01-27 08:29 AM

sorry for my lateness Carly. i know you told me it was up for a while, but i really didnt feel like posting or reading anything, so this is all im reading today.

i loved the poem i see youve stayed with the narrative poetry wich you do oh so very well.
i really loved it.

the feather and the fish, both wanted a new life because they didnt beleave that what they had was enough for them. the feather and the fish couldnt have been more wrong.

San, the wise
San, the dumb
San, the guy...

~sugarpie313~
Member

since 2000-09-14

Posts 375
Maine, USA

8 posted 2001-01-27 12:21 PM

this poem kicks major arse!!!! i love it!!
right now, this is my fave poem by you!!
congrats on your supercalifragilisticexpialidocious work!!!
LMAO

~*Valerie*~

*...Remember your roots, my friend they're right down below, because heroes come and heroes go...* - Creed

anomaly187
Member

since 2000-06-15

Posts 284
San Francisco,CA,US

9 posted 2001-01-27 04:38 PM

i have to agree with pretty much everyone else in saying this is one of the greatest ones i've read by you..simply amazing the way you used literay devices and wrote a interesting story..great work

"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro"

Child of the Stars

Senior Member

since 2000-09-07

Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

10 posted 2001-02-01 04:02 PM

Thank you guys so much...I took a little break and stuff so I didn't get a chance to thank all of you as much as I should have, so again, thank you...there should be a million ways to say that...but I guess there's only one..so yeah...I love you guys...
~Carly

"Insane people are always sure that they are fine. It is only the sane people who are willing to admit that they are crazy." (Nora Ephron)

Elvenblood
Member

since 2001-02-17

Posts 409
Maine, USA

11 posted 2001-02-17 09:33 PM

Hey, this is fantastic work, I really love this, this shoudl be seen by everyone!

"Some men see things as they are and say why.
I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK

Elvenblood
Member

since 2001-02-17

Posts 409
Maine, USA

12 posted 2001-02-17 10:43 PM

*stands and looks geeky* sorry, I'm new, I'm replying again to add this to my library. *urrr*

"Some men see things as they are and say why.
I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

13 posted 2001-03-27 04:54 PM

So tell me, Carly... by "the perfect one," did you mean this poem?

Just curious...
Seriously... this is outstanding. Very creative and well-written, and the story had a neat ending.

  You rule, kiddo.
This is totally bizarre... and is in my library now!
The feather and the fish shan't be forgotten.
~Allan

If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort

keoni
Senior Member

since 2000-10-16

Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC

14 posted 2001-03-27 05:03 PM

AWESOME! I really liked this piece. It's one of the best I have ever read here, seriously. It's in my library now!
Jon

"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine

Linc

Senior Member

since 2001-03-07

Posts 552
The Backstreet Boy

15 posted 2001-03-27 05:07 PM

Hey,

WOW, now I don't know if its my fav. of yours because you have some good ones but this is one of them. Keep up the great work

-- Linc

"Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment."

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

16 posted 2001-03-28 04:47 PM

*Applauds*

This one if the best I've read from you! Great job!

--Marie

I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am.

Child of the Stars

Senior Member

since 2000-09-07

Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

17 posted 2001-03-28 05:21 PM

Mmmmm shanks peeps...hehe...i feel so high..hehe...don't take sleep medicine during the day..hehehe.....its bad for you...heheh....byebye! hehe
~Carly

Many miles behind my eyelashes, there always seems to be
the strangest things, the slightly sane, that only I can see...

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

18 posted 2001-04-04 07:00 PM

You da Girl!!!

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

Low Man's Lyric
Member

since 2001-04-03

Posts 236
In a dream

19 posted 2001-04-04 07:10 PM

I liked this poem alot. Keep posting so I can read more of your writings.

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

20 posted 2001-04-30 03:14 PM

*bump*page one..

amazing poem jus awesome woooooowww

hehe..
i liked this one lots..

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

Child of the Stars

Senior Member

since 2000-09-07

Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

21 posted 2001-04-30 03:17 PM

Well hello, Perfect Life!!

Nice to see you back. Many thanks to you, al, for bumpin! Makes me happay.

~Carly

"Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the self-same well from which your laughter rises was often-times filled with your tears." ~Kahil Gibran

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

22 posted 2001-05-23 09:52 AM

The bump was a failed one.

I love this poem loads, Carly! I want some of the newbies to read it.
~Allan

Jenn Cirrincione

Member Elite

since 2000-07-02

Posts 2107
Fl

23 posted 2001-05-23 11:35 AM

I'm no newbie, but I'm tardy just the same. I liked this a lot... This poem reminds me of a mature Dr. Seuss... It was like, very different, but very good. As to what this poem meant to me? Everyone wants to be something else, somewhere else, you know? Anywhere but where they are. Anyone but who they are. No one is satisfied. But then suddenly, they get what they think they want, a change. And it turns out to be unfulfilling. Don't know if that was what was meant by it, but that's what I got. I loved it, and sorry I missed it the first time around!!

Jenn

"If it's wrong to love you, then my heart just won't let me be right, cause I'm drowned in you, and I won't pull through without you by my side." Mari

knightlyshadows
Senior Member

since 2001-04-14

Posts 791
obscured vision