Silence - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Heavens Tears

Senior Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 677

0 posted 2001-05-23 02:55 PM

Silence fills my ears
And flows through my mind
It keeps me awake at night
Keeps me wondering why I am all alone

With the silence comes darkness
And with the darkness come the tears
And the silence is broken
As my sobs fill the air
And I cry myself to sleep...

*~*Amanda*~*

My tears roll right down my cheeks, but they all soak into my pillow. I feel kinda sorry for it...

Silver Butterfly
Junior Member

since 2001-03-13

Posts 42
Between here and the end

1 posted 2001-05-23 03:05 PM

This is a pretty good poem. Glad you got rid of the "zzz". Okay, well... I'll see you around I guess.... Ciao

HeAvEnS AnGeL
Member

since 2001-05-17

Posts 168
The Hot Girl From Canada

2 posted 2001-05-23 03:25 PM

Well i know all to well how you feel. They say silence is golden but i think a lot of people fear it more than respect it.
But dont worry things will look up

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

3 posted 2001-05-23 04:57 PM

u told the situation well...i have done this to be honest and its hard...stay strong...and keepw riting...

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

4 posted 2001-05-23 06:35 PM

This is very sad. I felt this poem hit me hard. Well done and I hope you get better.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

5 posted 2001-05-24 12:27 PM

I personally felt that too many lines began with "and." This is tough to get around. One trick is to use different introductory conjoining words. (I do this all the time with "and," making it "but" or "still." But don't tell anyone!

)
Still, I think this had a unique structure to it and the way that it trailed off had a nice effect. Well done.
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
~Unknown

kaile

Member Ascendant

since 2000-02-06

Posts 5146
singapore

6 posted 2001-05-24 12:38 PM

i liked this a lot...it is so concise and to the point that i wonder why i haven't written about this before..

good piece...

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

7 posted 2001-05-24 02:21 PM

This was so sad and i could personally relate to it so this poem really hit home for me. You put so much meaning and so much feeling into so few words it was just amazing. Good job

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.