Teen Poetry #4 |
Smile and Story |
Meggie1986 Junior Member
since 2001-05-22
Posts 41California |
I gave you a smile and story. I thought it was fair exchange. I walked with you through the morning. I hoped it would never change. You gave me a look and I knew I had won. I could make my desires come true. You walked with me though the evening. But you never knew what I knew. I'm sorry I asked for your kindness. I'm sorry I asked you to stay. And now we've forever parted, I'm wishing we'd stayed that way. I'll never again ask for kindness, I'll never beg for an end. You'll stay in my heart forever, My only, my darling, my friend. ~Meaghan *One meets his destiny often in the road he takes to avoid it. |
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© Copyright 2001 Meaghan - All Rights Reserved | |||
fozzyozzy Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 336Lessburg Virginia |
Welcome to Passions. You have a great first post here. I'm impressed. I especially liked the last stanza and last rhyme. Keep posting "The heart can think of no devotion |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
beautiful poem...i loved the ending as i liked the whole poem overall...i really enjoyed this...hope to see more...and WELCOME to PASSIONS Meaghan! ...cya~ if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I really liked this poem. I thought you did very well on it, especially in the last stanza. I also like that little quote in the end, which I presume to be your signature. Well done here. Welcome to Passions and enjoy your stay! I hope to see you post and reply in the near future. Check your mail for a special message!!! Dopey_Dope/Moderator I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!! Great to have you with us. I hope you enjoy reading poems, as well as sharing some of your works too. You do write beautifully, that I can tell from you first post. I like it a lot, so keep it up and please keep sharing. I'm so sorry for doubting you Kit ... please forgive me!!!! |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
i liked the way how the poem flows beautifully here... a belated welcome to passions and do share more of your work with us, yea [This message has been edited by faterider (edited 05-31-2001).] |
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AngelPoet87 Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 280Indy |
Such a sweet ending! |
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~sugarpie313~ Member
since 2000-09-14
Posts 375Maine, USA |
this is soooooooooo good! i love the way you create a story, and how you express your feelings well... great job. it has an overall good message. one that i can relate to Valerie Why do you do what u do to me baby...you know if I could I'd do anything for you, please don't ignore me cause you know I adore you |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
This didn't drag out at the beginning... it jumped straight on into the point. I think that is very important in the poem, it defined a flow very early on as far as taking in the message was concerned. You laid it all out very well, so that it was easily absorbed. I like that. Welcome to Passions in Poetry. Can't wait to see more! ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Welcome To Passions!!!! This was a great first post and i cant wait to see more so keep em comin! |
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TopGunLauren Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718California |
Great first poem keep up the great work! Lauren |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
I really enjoyed the entire piece, especially the last stanza! The whole poem has great flow and meaning. Great job, and hope to see more from you! Over and out, ¤ ¢H@§ïÑg RåIñ ¤ "If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that i was made for another world." |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Welcome to Passions! These are beautiful thoughts. I enjoyed this very much, and I hope to read more from you soon. Thanks for sharing... and welcome again --Marie "You're the girl of my nightmares, erotic and skull-faced, the girl of my nightmares. |
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