Teen Poetry #4 |
walking by |
baby0508 Member
since 2001-05-16
Posts 58Moodus, Connecticut |
This one is not one of my best and it just sort of came out so tell me what you think!!!! Walking by My hands begin to tremble My heart it beats so fast You are walking in my direction until you walk right past. You left me there just standing and I love you more and more but when you walked right past me my heart just hit the floor It hurts me when i see you walk by like i'm just not there It's almost like i'm nothing Like you don't even care I watch you walk right past me today I pray you'll turn my way but you walk right by me just like every other day. |
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© Copyright 2001 Heather - All Rights Reserved | |||
~*brittt*~ Member
since 2001-05-09
Posts 76East Haddam, CT |
Yay Heath.This is so good! I know how you feel, but we established that. Kepp up the good work, and if you need to smile... think: WIDELOAD!! ~britt~ |
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vixengrl04 Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495East Haddam, CT |
Awww this is really sad it sucks alot when someone that you think cares just kinda walks right by you and doesn't notice u..But you wrote this well. I wish you the best of luck. Stay strong. ~*Nikki*~ ~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~ |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
the flow and rhythm of this are really good, i like this piece a lot. i know it helps to write about how you feel and use writing as a release, so i hope you keep sharing your work with us, you write beautiful poetry Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Very sad poem here. It wasn't your best, but it did show a lot of the emotions you are going through which are so real...it seems us teens go through this quite a bit. Good luck with the future and get better. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
the poem itself wa written very well and full of emotions...as this situation u have told is sad and i hope someday he'll notice ur heart... ...? if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
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