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baby0508
Member

since 2001-05-16

Posts 58
Moodus, Connecticut

0 posted 2001-05-22 08:42 AM

This one is not one of my best and it just sort of came out so tell me what you think!!!!

Walking by

My hands begin to tremble
My heart it beats so fast
You are walking in my direction
until you walk right past.

You left me there just standing
and I love you more and more
but when you walked right past me
my heart just hit the floor

It hurts me when i see you
walk by like i'm just not there
It's almost like i'm nothing
Like you don't even care

I watch you walk right past me
today I pray you'll turn my way
but you walk right by me
just like every other day.

~*brittt*~
Member

since 2001-05-09

Posts 76
East Haddam, CT

1 posted 2001-05-22 08:57 AM

Yay Heath.This is so good! I know how you feel, but we established that. Kepp up the good work, and if you need to smile... think: WIDELOAD!!
~britt~

vixengrl04
Member

since 2001-04-26

Posts 495
East Haddam, CT

2 posted 2001-05-22 09:42 AM

Awww this is really sad it sucks alot when someone that you think cares just kinda walks right by you and doesn't notice u..But you wrote this well. I wish you the best of luck. Stay strong.

~*Nikki*~

~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~

banburycross
Senior Member

since 2001-03-27

Posts 946
viginia

3 posted 2001-05-22 05:40 PM

the flow and rhythm of this are really good, i like this piece a lot. i know it helps to write about how you feel and use writing as a release, so i hope you keep sharing your work with us, you write beautiful poetry

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

4 posted 2001-05-22 09:29 PM

Very sad poem here. It wasn't your best, but it did show a lot of the emotions you are going through which are so real...it seems us teens go through this quite a bit.
Good luck with the future and get better.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

5 posted 2001-05-23 02:20 AM

the poem itself wa written very well and full of emotions...as this situation u have told is sad and i hope someday he'll notice ur heart...

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

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