»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #4
»
Falling rain: bus-phobias.
| Teen Poetry #4 |
|
Falling rain: bus-phobias. |
|
|
chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
It's 3pm And I'm waiting For your bus to Come. We wait there In silence. And I ask myself Where tears Come from. As we wait I'm trying to Find a way To say I love you Without giving myself Away. As we wait For the rain To fall. The words You used to say to me Are treasured in My heart. I don't want To let you go This leaving keeps Our souls apart. I'm starting to feel This wrenching Pain. I know somehow We'll never meet ever Again. As we wait For the rain To fall. You board the bus At 3:15. I wave good bye From a tearful Stream. While the rain falls So softly Hiding my tears That slide down Gently. I should have told you. Although I didn't Want to In case I gave Myself away. I never knew How lonely life Could be. I only knew I could've told you When I saw you Leave. I should have given Myself away I know. Love is unforgiving That's why the rain turns To snow. [This message has been edited by chasing rain (edited 05-21-2001).] |
||
| © Copyright 2001 chasing rain - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
obscurity of cloud Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294....:::::******:::::.... |
I like this a lot. It's very sudden and effective, the placement of some words. Great work. "so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost |
||
|
DarkSilver Junior Member
since 2001-05-21
Posts 33Six O'clock High! |
It says something about me that i'm your friend, but is it a good thing? lol good poem Leah |
||
|
chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
Geo, you suck. lol. C'mon...go post up your poems. |
||
anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
this poem showed some emotions sad ones...and u did quite well...thnaks for the read...  ...?if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
||
|
banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
you wrote beautiful emotion into every line, i really love this piece. this is definetely one of my favorite poems by you,this goes into my library. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
||
|
banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
NOW it's going into my library Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
||
|
vixengrl04 Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495East Haddam, CT |
Wow this was pretty good. I loved the way everything flowed so well and it was really good. I like.  ~*Nikki*~ ~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~ |
||
|
Kevin
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729Torrington, Ct, Usa |
Loved the subtlies in this every line break so thought out and so effective. awesome job |
||
|
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
This flowed amazingly. I really love the scene you painted, and the last line was just marvelous. The title arrangement makes me wonder if this is to be a series? ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
||
|
lonely*soul Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396east haddam (moodus) ct :) |
hey i really like the message behind this poem..everyone is saying how they love the flow, but personally i think its a little too choppy, a good way to write but the words were short and so were the lines..i dunno...who am i to judge anyways..i wouldnt know form if it hit me...wait that doesnt make scence heh *KiMMiE* |
||
|
cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
great poem!!..hhaha..im one of the ones who did like the flow of the poem...it emphised some of the words more..like pain and fall... ...i enjoyed the read..thank you very much! |
||
|
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
You amaze me with your poetic talents. I enjoyed this oem immensely. Simply wonderful.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
