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Low Man's Lyric
Member
since 2001-04-03
Posts 236
In a dream

0 posted 2001-05-21 03:01 AM


The Life Of Fantasy, The Dream Of Reality

Is this life or fantasy
I will never know
I'll escape reality
and hide away in sorrow

Nearing the end of this dream
I don't want to die
I'll wake up and scream
and maybe I'll cry

I have thrown it all away
and my heart is in pain
here is where I lay
on top my bed, slain

Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the second, "For my best friend."  
~Anonymous

© Copyright 2001 Aaron B. - All Rights Reserved
anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

1 posted 2001-05-21 03:13 AM


whoaa...this hit me hard...i loved this poem...great job Aaron ...hope to see more!!... ...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

[This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 05-21-2001).]

Elusive^
Junior Member
since 2001-05-13
Posts 18
dancing fairy land
2 posted 2001-05-21 09:59 AM


yes..what is 'reality', i wonder..
I liked this alot..and the last line, 'slain'..life kills.
Keep posting

''I'll TAKE a QUIET life..a HANDSHAKE of CARBON monoxide with NO alarms AND no SURPRISES..''
'LaniDarkone'..underwent a change of name.

Child of the Stars
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Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
3 posted 2001-05-21 10:31 AM


Interesting...I liked this, though some of the rhymes seemed really forced. Loved the concept, keep it up.  
  ~Carly

"I'll take in anyone who's taking off their camouflage..." ~Third Eye Blind~Camouflage

banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
4 posted 2001-05-21 10:35 AM


i loved the last stanza of this, the ending is really cool.  i think you did an excellent job on this piece, keep postingall your work  

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
5 posted 2001-05-21 11:22 AM


Last stanza....amazing....the ending....wonderful. You really did well on this one low man.
I enjoyed this very much!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Low Man's Lyric
Member
since 2001-04-03
Posts 236
In a dream
6 posted 2001-05-21 11:28 AM


Thanks for all your replies, this is an odd one by me but I am glad you all enjoyed it.

Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the second, "For my best friend."  
~Anonymous

Linc
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Senior Member
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552
The Backstreet Boy
7 posted 2001-05-21 11:42 AM


Hey,

   Wonderful   ( the poem ) nuff said Until your next poem

        -- Linc

"Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment."

Terryloveiris_85
Member
since 2001-04-23
Posts 61
The middle of nowhere
8 posted 2001-05-21 08:45 PM


This was a really good piece of work!
~IRIS

i'd give eternity to be by your side-goo goo dolls/City of Angels soundtrack

goodness is found in the heart, not the money.

Kosetsu
Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 450
Alabama, USA
9 posted 2001-05-21 10:15 PM


I somewhat agree with Carly..some of the rhymes just..I don't know, just didn't seem to flow well together or something. Maybe playing around with syllables might help a bit, but that's just my own humble opinion. Anyway, its a great one Low man. Loved the ending!

-Kosetsu

"No one holds command over me.
No man.
No god.
No prince."

chasing rain
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737
Canada
10 posted 2001-05-21 10:23 PM


I enjoyed this a lot.  
Especially the last stanza. Just...WHAMO. *passes out*
anyway, keep it up.

¤¢Hå§ïÑg RåIñ¤

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