The Life Of Fantasy, The Dream Of Reality

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Low Man's Lyric
Member

since 2001-04-03

Posts 236
In a dream

0 posted 2001-05-21 03:01 AM

The Life Of Fantasy, The Dream Of Reality

Is this life or fantasy
I will never know
I'll escape reality
and hide away in sorrow

Nearing the end of this dream
I don't want to die
I'll wake up and scream
and maybe I'll cry

I have thrown it all away
and my heart is in pain
here is where I lay
on top my bed, slain

Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the second, "For my best friend."
~Anonymous

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

1 posted 2001-05-21 03:13 AM

whoaa...this hit me hard...i loved this poem...great job Aaron ...hope to see more!!...

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

[This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 05-21-2001).]

Elusive^
Junior Member

since 2001-05-13

Posts 18
dancing fairy land

2 posted 2001-05-21 09:59 AM

yes..what is 'reality', i wonder..
I liked this alot..and the last line, 'slain'..life kills.
Keep posting

''I'll TAKE a QUIET life..a HANDSHAKE of CARBON monoxide with NO alarms AND no SURPRISES..''
'LaniDarkone'..underwent a change of name.

Child of the Stars

Senior Member

since 2000-09-07

Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

3 posted 2001-05-21 10:31 AM

Interesting...I liked this, though some of the rhymes seemed really forced. Loved the concept, keep it up.

~Carly

"I'll take in anyone who's taking off their camouflage..." ~Third Eye Blind~Camouflage

banburycross
Senior Member

since 2001-03-27

Posts 946
viginia

4 posted 2001-05-21 10:35 AM

i loved the last stanza of this, the ending is really cool. i think you did an excellent job on this piece, keep postingall your work

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

5 posted 2001-05-21 11:22 AM

Last stanza....amazing....the ending....wonderful. You really did well on this one low man.
I enjoyed this very much!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Low Man's Lyric
Member

since 2001-04-03

Posts 236
In a dream

6 posted 2001-05-21 11:28 AM

Thanks for all your replies, this is an odd one by me but I am glad you all enjoyed it.

Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the second, "For my best friend."
~Anonymous

Linc

Senior Member

since 2001-03-07

Posts 552
The Backstreet Boy

7 posted 2001-05-21 11:42 AM

Hey,

Wonderful

( the poem ) nuff said Until your next poem

-- Linc

"Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment."

Terryloveiris_85
Member

since 2001-04-23

Posts 61
The middle of nowhere

8 posted 2001-05-21 08:45 PM

This was a really good piece of work!
~IRIS

i'd give eternity to be by your side-goo goo dolls/City of Angels soundtrack

goodness is found in the heart, not the money.

Kosetsu
Member

since 2001-03-10

Posts 450
Alabama, USA

9 posted 2001-05-21 10:15 PM

I somewhat agree with Carly..some of the rhymes just..I don't know, just didn't seem to flow well together or something. Maybe playing around with syllables might help a bit, but that's just my own humble opinion. Anyway, its a great one Low man. Loved the ending!

-Kosetsu

"No one holds command over me.
No man.
No god.
No prince."

chasing rain
Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 737
Canada

10 posted 2001-05-21 10:23 PM

I enjoyed this a lot.

Especially the last stanza. Just...WHAMO. *passes out*
anyway, keep it up.

¤¢Hå§ïÑg RåIñ¤

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