Slap You In The Middle Of Your Face

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zarina
Member

since 2001-05-19

Posts 180

0 posted 2001-05-20 05:59 AM

First I want to say: Excuse my language in this poem. I was really upset when I wrote it, and I think that's a part of it's "charm".

I didn't know I could hate like this
I never thougth I could be this bad
I didn't know that what was love would bring this hate I didn't wish for this to be...

But When I see you smile
When I see you laugh
When I see you kiss that guy who in my heart is mine
I just wanna cry, I wanna stop it,
maybe my outside looks cold but still inside I'm screaming
And I just know so very well that all I want
Is To Slap You In The Middle Of Your Face..!

I know it's wrong, I know it's mad,
And YES, I know it doesn't fit at all..
I know he loves you, that it don't help to figth,
I know I have no rigths at all..
I know you were here long before I

But I am what I am,
I do what I do..
And when I see you smile
When I see you laugh
When I see that you are
All I wanted to be
I wanna cry, I wanna laugh of myself,
I wanna break the world and everything..
But most of all, I WANT TO SLAP YOU IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR FACE!!

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

1 posted 2001-05-20 01:26 PM

I read it.....I didn't see any Bad language. For the future...if you ever do have a poem with BAD LANGUAGE edit the language out and replace it with something not bad, ok?
This poem, however, did not have any bad language and did not require any editing.
You expressed yourself with rage towards somebody and that was obvious. You wrote it well and I hope to see more.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

banburycross
Senior Member

since 2001-03-27

Posts 946
viginia

2 posted 2001-05-20 04:03 PM

you don't need to be excused from expressing your anger and frustration twards someone, you did a beautiful job expressing yourself. keep sharing your work

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

3 posted 2001-05-21 12:26 PM

hey,
this poem was good, but i don't know about your strong language. if this happened to me i think i'd have a few more interesting words to say. i loved the poem though, good work!!!! =)
-fear-

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

4 posted 2001-05-21 12:33 PM

i like the fact that u dont hold anything back(like i dont..hehe

)...thats something i liked in this poem great job on writing this...and i thought u slapped her...ahh man

...but i do hope things are better and later on i hope u do what u wish

...hehe sorry i just had to say it...keep writing...tho

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

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