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fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

0 posted 2001-05-19 06:41 PM

i don't think i really like this one, but oh well. n the title is retarded lol.

I hear you yell
I hear you scream
as my eyes once again fill with tears.

your words,
they stab and the strike.
almost like the sharp lethal edge of a knife.

you don't realize
how much words can sting
even if when said by you when they don't mean a thing.

my love for you is gone,
butchered by the knife you wield with such skill.
why can't you realize
that your words have the power to kill.

-fear-

vixengrl04
Member

since 2001-04-26

Posts 495
East Haddam, CT

1 posted 2001-05-19 06:44 PM

Hey I liked the idea behind this one and comparing words to a knife. Great metaphor. The first stanza kinda stuck out 2 me because it didn't have any rhyme and all the others did, but I did like it. Good work.

~*Nikki*~

~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

2 posted 2001-05-20 01:02 PM

Sometimes words are like a knife. I really liked your analogy. Well done on the poem. I liked it. The title was a bit weak though, like you said.....maybe "Cutting words" or "Knife of words"....i don't know hehe

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

banburycross
Senior Member

since 2001-03-27

Posts 946
viginia

3 posted 2001-05-20 03:20 PM

i liked the format of this a lot, the alternating line size got my attention. i also liked the central metaphor a lot, you did an excellent job with this.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

4 posted 2001-05-21 12:15 PM

hey thanks for responding! i agree nikki...i couldn't find nething else to say for the first stanza. dopey where were u when i was trying to give it a title?! i just said screw it and wrote bad knife lol. guess i'm lazy. oh well. thanks again ppl.
-fear-

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

5 posted 2001-05-21 01:44 AM

this is very true and u wrote this very well...i enjoyed the read...and thanks for sharing it...keep writing...

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

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