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| Teen Poetry #4 |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
For once, I just wanted to write a poem that's just goofy... ========== I'm swept into a world Beyond my imagination Full of the real And the surreal I am lost. Captured by the innocence, Enchanted by the images I face As I bump into a tree. Ouch. Subconsciously, I retreat In a mad daze. I wander aimlessly about. I seem to be searching For something. Can't find it. "Blind bat," I tell myself. I bump into another tree. Dizzy, confused, and lost I run, or stagger Into someone. It's me. We stare at each other. And stare. And stare. Life passes We become old. Our reflections withering Our eyes Dimming I still haven't found what I'm looking for. Where am I anyways? Dangit... Coffin. |
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| © Copyright 2001 chasing rain - All Rights Reserved | |||
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knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
lol i liked the tone of this. it seems all cutish and innocent and 'goofy' but to me there seems to be a message behind it! which i liked. great job chasin  lol i like ur crique message btw  tiff  “A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.” |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
NO....no this was not humorous....this was great. I can see how it could have been taken as a funny poem, but I saw a deeper side to it.....very well done....very very well done. I mean if you didn't tell me it was supposed to be funny I would have just taken it to be one of your good poems. This was really well done. The deep side to it really hit me. I liked it so much. Hope to read more "funny" ones hehe.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
i agree wholeheartedly with javy, this is a really deep piece, i read it several times to myself. very excellent job on this, i like it a lot. this piece goes into my library. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
this button system is really, really dumb. there has to be a better way to do this... Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
^peter be always doing that...hehe and the poem was funny if u looked at it a funny way...but as dopey said it did have a deeper side to it and i enjoyed this poem...great job and hope to see more...  ...?if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
What is with you and bumping into things? I think you use it to symbolize something, but I can't seem to think of what it is. A little insight would be appreciated thanks for sharing hi Sweets, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Allan, Val, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Maree, Michele, |
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